Below is a transcript of the episode as generated by Otter.ai. (*please note, this transcript has only been edited to put in line breaks for easier readability and may contain errors where a word or phrase got lost in transcription.)
[0:13] Creativity, self-compassion, and spirituality.
Aloha and welcome to Your Heart magic and illuminating space where psychology spirituality and heart wisdom meet. Here's your host, Dr. BethAnne Kapansky. Wright, the clinical psychologist with a mystic mind.
Hello. Hi, everybody. Welcome to Your Heart magic. This is Dr. BethAnne Kapansky Wright. And today we have a talk storytime episode where I will be sharing some of my writings and a little bit more thoughts and perspectives behind them. I always enjoy doing these episodes because they're not really scripted. I don't really script anything that I share, I usually will just tap bullets for talking points.
But I really don't think about bullets or talking points for talk storytime episodes, I just pick the passages and allow whatever's in my heart to be shared. And since all have the center around a theme, when we do a talk storytime episode, today's theme is we are the art.
And every passage I'm sharing has the word art note, sometimes a lot in it. But it's really playing with the idea that we are the art you are the art I am the art the art is we are the palette, the canvas, and the art, the creativity, the creation that we're making. It's us, it's our inner world. It is what we cultivate and create in our hearts. It is how we choose to move ourselves and move our energy and the world around us what kinds of things we create in our outer world, how we choose to manifest our intentions.
All of that is the art. And I've always loved using art as a way to as a metaphor for sell. Because I think as an artist, the artistic process is so fascinating. Think writers and artists love to talk about creativity and the process itself and how like so much of what's gained from any final product really comes from the process and being process oriented. And I think art teaches us and the process of making art teaches us how to let things be a little bit messy.
Let them be chaotic know that sometimes, when things look like they're not coming together, that's when serendipity strikes, and all of a sudden we see something in a new way. And whatever we're creating turns out even better than what we imagined. And that, to me is a beautiful metaphor for understanding our way of being in the world and approaching it with grace and self compassion and creativity and knowing that anytime we fall down, as they'd say, in dance, it's just an opportunity for unexpected floor work.
And so when we are doing the dance of our lives and the creation of our lives, and something doesn't go the way that we thought it would. And that's okay, it is time to do a little bit of a pivot and we can continue to work with that in a creative way, and still make something beautiful out of it.
And I think life itself love spirit, the universe, God all of those higher energetic powers, and higher wisdom that we try and draw in. That can always make something out of no anything no matter how dark it looks or how much we feel like we've messed up.
[3:59] Self-love and creativity through writing and art.
So with that this first piece is just a really short, little prose piece and it's called The Art of you. Sometimes the harder you look for something and try and force it, the more elusive it becomes.
Sit back. Be calm. Love yourself. Live well. smile a lot. Create a life that you love, nurture and tend to your inner garden and let it bloom. Learn to be the art of you. Be happy with yourself and if you're not happy with yourself, then commit to discovering how to cultivate inner happiness.
And the right people will come along at the right times. Bringing much love and joy into your life. Adding enhancing and giving a new dimension to the giant stock of love you have already created within the palette of you.
So this piece See has maybe been published before, like on Facebook or something like that it's an older piece of writing that I did that I'm currently have put into a bigger collection of some works to be published hopefully later this year, I'm hoping to have more to share on that soon. It's not quite ready to be shared yet. But you heard it here. First, I do have a book in the works.
And I'm hoping to have something out before the fall of 2024. So yay, little mini drum roll. Stay tuned on more information on that one. But this particular piece is one that I wrote back in probably around the year 2013 2014. That's where a lot of the ones that I'm bringing into this collection came from. And at that time in my life, I was really cultivating the art of me, and tending to my inner world. And I've talked quite a bit on your heart magic about my own journey.
And that particular part of my journey was after spiritual awakening, I had gone through a divorce, I was finding my way as a single woman in my mid 30s, however old I was, at the time, I was a psychologist, and I had really committed to following the way of the heart. And part of my awakening process and subsequent growth really came down to learning that there was this voice inside of me that there was something in me that held this wisdom.
And if I listened to it, even when it didn't make sense on paper. And if I found the courage to follow what it said, even when it felt scary, that these amazing magical things happen, sometimes really hard things happen to. But there was so much nuance and beautiful life there.
And after I'd gone through all this unlearning of who I wasn't, and was in this place of really trying to be the most authentic Batman that I could be at that point in time, I started playing a lot with words and ideas that really helped me tune into the idea that no matter what was going on in my external world, I could always get about the business of trying to create something beautiful within me.
And for me, my writing, and my art, I used to do a card line and do a lot of art journaling, and a lot of creative things that were just part of my part of my process. All of that was this reflection of ways that I was processing my feelings, working through understanding my relationship with myself, my relationship with the world.
And no matter what, I always had that. So it could be like the worst day imaginable. And for me, I say that with a little bit of a melodramatic flavor. They're one of those days where I could be like, this is an awful day. And it could be like, Okay, well, what am I going to do tonight? How am I going to bring self care or love or color or creativity into my world? How am I going to surround myself, or do something that allows me to express my voice.
And as I was writing and drawing and doing all of that, I think that's when I really started to cement this idea that we are the art, our life is the art and my writing. And art was just this expression, it was this sort of flow of ideas that were going on inside of me. And that's the way that I chose to take those out and put it into some sort of a creative medium.
But I recognize that all of that was coming from something within and it was coming from my inner oceans of feelings and my understanding of self and the insights I was having and how I was relating to the world around me.
[8:55] Embracing messiness and self-expression.
So I love thinking about this idea that we are the art. And I love the idea that we might not be able to control most of what happens in our outer world. In fact, we have very little control over much of that some things we can control.
Most things we can't control, though we really enjoy as human beings maintaining the illusion of control that helps us feel much more comforted. Then when we really think about that we're here at life's invitation and not so much our own control and we're invited into constant surrender.
But I knew that I could always work on containing at least or controlling in a very fluid way what was going on inside of me. So if I had angst or anger in my heart, I could always work on that and examine well what's that about? And what do I want to do with these feelings? And do I want to hang on to these feelings? Do I want to let them go do I want to write bad love poetry? If it's a breakup, but I'm really mad at somebody?
Do I want to do Draw a mandala and write all my feelings out in this big circle and color it with all these colors that represent the sadness or anger, something I'm feeling that maybe doesn't feel good internally, I knew that I could bring a measure of control to those things. And by control, I simply mean trying to organize them. And that really helped me see that no matter what else is going on, we can always do the work of ourselves.
So that little piece is a reflection of just get busy doing you. And sometimes, we might not always love our circumstances, we might not always like where we're at with ourselves. But we can always find something to work with, we can always find an entry point some way to say, alright, this little piece right here, I can focus on this and I can express this somehow.
And I can start to tend to this tiny patch of my inner garden. And the minute that we start doing that it's amazing the space that begins to open up. So this next poem is called Finger Paints. And this one is published, it's from my book, cranberry desk, which actually I think you can get the PDF for free if you've signed up for my Akashic magic newsletter. This was a self published book of poetry that I put together.
And I love a lot of these writings because they really reflect my transformation process and this was written around the year 2014 Finger Paints, she said to be messy, like art, like finger paint, smeared and chaotic mess, haphazardly, running into one another, and constellations of crinkled tents, and star based hues.
She said to be messy, like life, like the way we can sit and ponder why we don't always do the things we know are best for us, or why we lay our careful plans only to have the winds sweep in and scatter, sending us in a different direction entirely. Or why Sunday days we can feel good and well, simply because yet other days feel so heavy with the sad songs of the deep. She said to be messy, like love, like why we love what we love, and who we love and when we love.
And if we should speak of how we love than I would want her what particular alchemy makes one heart stay open, where another will close. She said to be messy like humans, that will never grow without the process of mess that shapes us into being and allows us to release into the act of our own creation. So we can become who we are meant to become in this place. She said to be messy like art. So I got out my finger paints, placed my heart on my sleeve and began to smear. I had an Akashic reading back in sometime in 2014.
This is when I had yet to realize that I could read the Akashic Records myself and was meant to become a reader and I was still working with somebody back then he was such a gift to me at the time. And she would do these beautiful readings for me and one of them. I don't even know what my query was, I just remember the response was that it would be really good for me to relax my grip a little bit and loosen the reins and be a little bit messy.
And then the guidance from the Akashic Records was like get some finger paints or coloring crayons, and smear the paints or just scribble on a page. You don't have to do this for like more than a couple minutes.
[13:48] Finding inner artistry through life's mess.
But that it would be really good for me to let things be messy. And that was really helped me start to tap into the idea of not only letting life be messy and letting it be a beautiful mess, but to play with this idea of mess. And this idea of finger paints and how many things in our life feel like finger paints, where no matter how like finger paints are meant to be messy. They're meant to be run into one another. They're meant to blend a little bit. They're meant to be tactile and sensory and fun, right? It's meant to be playful, and it's meant to be fun.
And if we could look at different things in our life, like just the art of being human and understanding attachment and why we love and why we feel the way that we are and just playing with this idea of imperfection and letting it be a little bit messy. I think that that guidance has served me really well. And something that I teach and talk about quite a bit and it's part of what inspired this poem. Where I was playing with imagery and ideas around like, well, what is messy?
And how can we just Let life be messy, and thinking about different things in my life that as much as I wanted, had wanted to, like, contain love, and keep a relationship neat or simple. It's like it would keep evolving and going into different directions that I wanted it to go. And at that time of my life, I think I still was reeling a little bit from Wow, my life had been on one trajectory. And then I went through this mass awakening itself, and it's moving in a different direction entirely now.
And how does that happen, that life will just come on in and the waves of change will knock us over and steer us somewhere else entirely. So I wanted that whole poem to feel a little bit fun little bit playful. I was definitely playing with metaphor and words, artistically, to encourage the reader to have fun with mental imagery. And also just really reinforced the idea that life is a mess, a beautiful mess, a chaotic mess, a glorious mess, but a lot of times it is really messy, and we can spend time organizing it.
And then something comes along and messes it up. And we have to reorganize all of it. And so we can continue to find ways to approach that with an attitude of play and curiosity and experiencing it, instead of always trying to control and contain it. And when we do that, I think a lot of space opens up.
So this next piece is called You Are the art. Like I said, the the word art is used in everything today. This is from my book transformation. So the sun and I really love this one. We collect pieces of ourselves as we go, clues and cues and tiny gems and treasures, which we take away until it's time to unfold a fuller story itself. The soul leaves cake crumbs to help us follow the path. That poem you wrote years ago may one day become part of a book
. This strange sense of restlessness you felt months ago, may have been the first stirrings and dawning of a new invitation for growth. The vision you once had of yourself doing something different than what you do now may someday come into fruition.
And if you just stay with it, and let that part of yourself emerge, you'll eventually find your own brand of artistry, each scrap and Perl and shell and tiny pebble each little bit you discover each day is a piece of the greater mosaic of you. When stone unfurl overnight, they start to develop in the cocoon.
And sometimes you may not even realize you've been in a cocoon until you're ready to break free through it, silken strands of incubation, a heart can change in a beat, and you never know what might change your heart.
So don't just trust yourself, or discredit your dreams, or dismiss the pieces of you that you are slowly gathering. Even if you don't entirely understand them. You are drawn to them for a reason. They resonate in your heart. Because each color and line and shade and tone is working to create a fuller picture of you. Your soul is your canvas, and you are the art.
[18:37] Collecting life experiences for personal growth and self-discovery.
I think it's a delightful way to look at our lives. Like every day, we're on a treasure hunt. And the treasure that we collect are the things that resonate with our soul with our hearts that light our hearts up or that hold meaning for us, even if we can't explain why.
So this idea that we're collecting these moments and experiences and almost like a mosaic or a collage, right? Like if you really were on a treasure hunt. And let's say these things were tangible. And so you'd find like a little gemstone, you'd find a little penny over here, you'd find a broken bit of pottery, I'm picturing all of us as like little magpies, collecting shiny things and putting them in this treasure chest or maybe we lay them out on a canvas and start to make some sort of a mosaic from them. And we might not even know that there is a common theme or that everything we're collecting actually weaves together somehow.
And imagine that you have collected all these little gemstones, all these little trinkets and things and you put them together on this canvas and you're laying it out and looking at it and you take a step back and realize that You have created this beautiful piece of art, maybe you see that it is part of a bigger picture. And you can see what that picture is maybe you see that it all ties together.
And there's a similar color or theme or something like that, somehow you look at it and these little disparate parts that were these tiny moments, all of a sudden makes sense to you in a new way. And you see that you have been weaving something together. I love this idea that our soul brings in moments experiences, little phrases, little words, and is helping collage these together into this bigger artistry of who we are.
And one of my favorite things is when somebody maybe there's a quote that they read years ago, and they really felt drawn to it, that they couldn't understand why. And then five years later, they come across that chord again, and it means something to them and a whole new way. And they realize that those words are words that they have been living out in their life, and they keep coming back to the truth in those words, and all the sudden, they have this moment where of resonance, and they're like, oh, my gosh, this feels like a sign from the universe.
You know, this quote, keeps finding me every time that I'm at a crossroads in my life, or every time I'm trying to trust my heart. Or maybe we start a project, and we do some writing. And we have this sort of half idea, I'm gonna make a book, or I'm going to do something with it. And then life comes along, and we get busy and it gets put away.
And years later, maybe we pull it out and revive it and realize, wow, I've got half of a manuscript here. And I'm in a place now in my life, that I actually have more time to invest in it. And so I'm going to polish this up. And before they know it, they have the story out or this book out, or maybe the idea has been with them all along, and years later, they finally have time to develop it and do something with it.
And so when something lights us up, or speaks to us, or moves us or feels meaningful, even if we can't explain why I love the idea that we are treasure hunting, and collecting these little pieces of soul, and that when we put them together, intuitively, they start to make sense, and they start to help us better understand our journey.
Help us understand our relationship with spirit, help us understand our purpose and our inner world. And I just think it's delightful to imagine that every day we are on a treasure hunt. And we're scavenging for these experiences and these little moments and looking for what moved me today? What held meaning for me, how can I make meaning out of my life right now and turn that into something and tuck it into my treasure chest. And I think that is a beautiful way to experience the art of who we are.
[23:06] Creativity, self-love, and personal growth.
So this last poem that I want to read is also from cranberry dusk. It is called The Art of becoming and I'll read it first and share a few thoughts before we wrap up today. The art of becoming I used to think If I could I'd go back and do it all over.
And yet I now know I wouldn't change a thing. life's great irony that that which awakens is that which makes us break
the Japanese call it can sugi golden joinery, the craft of repairing a cracked vessel with gold lacquer so the flaws become perfectly imperfect marks of its history. I call it the art of becoming sacred joinery, the craft of repairing the cracks in our vessels with loves lacquer.
So our flaws become perfectly imperfect marks of our history. We don't get a say about the nature of our breaking the things that cause hearts, porcelain to chip and crack. But we can learn to become a participant and the grace of our own evolution. And we can know that we have a choice and the nature of our sacred geometry.
Choosing to fill our gaps with love, not hate, with hope, not pain, with trust and place of fear with liquid gold, of our own design that joins all that we were with all that we've yet to become and loves perfect unity.
I wrote that poem at a place called Rainbow Oregon and a little cottage by the Mackenzie River on my honeymoon in 2015. We got married in Oregon on well not on Cannon Beach. It was a wind storms. So we ended up getting married in a hotel room. That's a whole other story. It was delightful and utterly unique. And afterwards, the honeymoon was really just traveling through Oregon and seeing some family and friends. And then we stayed in this cottage by the Mackenzie River. It was November of that year.
So there wasn't a lot of people around it was in this town called Rainbow, Oregon. And what was so fun about that is I remember when I booked the reservations, we just wanted to stay by the Mackenzie River, and I happen to find this place and on a whim booked it, and I didn't even know the town was called Rainbow. So we show up there and I'm like, we're staying in rainbow, Oregon. I'm such a rainbow person. I'm such a color person. I think those who listen to this or know me know that about me.
So it felt like this beautiful blessing and synchronicity and there's a whole story around how like all I wanted on my wedding day was like a rainbow because I felt like that would be this grace and blessing from the universe. And we had this huge storm instead. But sure enough, there was a rainbow at the end of the day hanging over the beach, and there was rainbows the next day, and then we end up staying in this town called Rainbow.
So there was a lot of really beautiful messages from the angels in universe during that time. But obviously, that was a really good time in my life and a really good memory. And I was having one of those moments of feeling a sense of completion. And feeling like I had gone through this rite of passage. And not only getting married, but in moving through this chapter in my life that had seen me through a divorce, spiritual awakening, being single, having all these experiences and how I understood myself.
And there was something about this completion. And this joining was somebody else that felt like a new cycle was beginning. And so that poem was my reflection of this beautiful thing that came from a time in my life that truly felt like I might not bounce back. Sometimes when I think of those years, I am astounded at some of the emotional pain that I processed and I felt and some of the experiences that I had.
And I remember the pain, I don't really carry it with me now. I think I've taken the wisdom from that time in my life. But they were hard, hard years for me. And a lot of difficult lessons of becoming but also so beautiful. And so this tension of understanding that that which broke me is also that which made me a woke me to something bigger.
And no matter how broken we are, if we can find a way to pour love into the art of ourselves and love could be okay, it could be goodness, it could be finding meaning it could be finding inspiration, it could be staying committed to our heart, even if we don't understand what life is doing. There's so many ways that we can use our own form of love and pour that liquid gold into the cracks inside of ourselves.
And this poem was this culmination of me having just a moment, just say, wow, look at this beautiful thing that it brought me. I'm smiling, saying that because I felt like being like the end. And it's actually the next to the last poem in that book. And it's really appropriate for the book. And I also want to go back and give 2015 me a hug and be like, Oh, my gosh, girlfriend, you had no idea that you were a couple months out from losing your brother and about to take a whole other journey of being broken open.
[28:37] Closing thoughts and coming up next week.
But those are different stories for different days. And all of that I am happy to share with everybody because it's part of the art of me. And my exhortation for you this week is to continue to think about yourself as a work in progress, a work of art, and think about what are you creating with your life?
How can you create the kind of art that you want inside of you. And no matter where you are, we can always find something to work with. And we can always start somewhere and just start tending and clearing a small patch of our inner garden and then see what grows from there. Thank you so much for joining me today for this talk storytime episode.
Coming up next week, we are continuing our archetypes of the taro series. And we are moving on to card 13 death, which sometimes sounds really scary when people see it. But it's actually a beautiful card that symbolizes endings in our life and release and letting go and it's so deep and so much richer than what might initially come to mind with that word.
So we're going to be looking at how to understand it in a holistic way and how to apply that wisdom to our lives. So Oh that is coming up next week. In the meantime, have an amazing week. Be well. Be Love, be you and be magic.
you've been listening to your heart magic with Dr. BethAnne Kapansky Wright. Tune in next week for a new episode to support and empower your life.