Below is a transcript of the episode as generated by Otter.ai. (*please note, this transcript has only been edited to put in line breaks for easier readability and may contain errors where a word or phrase got lost in transcription.)

[0:33] Introduction to Episode

Hello, hi everyone. This is Dr. BethAnne Kapansky. Wright, you are listening to your heart magic. And today's episode is our 20th. I am delighted. I know I'm always excited. I genuinely love making this podcast, but I'm much funny, we are at 20. So I'm very happy to be bringing today's topic to you.

Moving from fear to fierce is what I originally called this and I've actually opened the Akashic records on fear. So this is a little bit of a hybrid of an Akashic Records episode along on the topic of fear, and how do we transmute fear in our life? How do we work with it constructively? And how do we move into more of a place of fierceness?

Originally, I think I said faith, but I realized this week that we don't just want faith we want like fierce faith. And I really wanted to invoke this energy of being very active in our love, be very active, and our compassion, very active, and secure. And our spiritual power. I think all of those things is what being fierce is about.

Being fierce is not about aggression, or anger in a very rageful harmful way. When I think of fierceness, spiritually, I think a somebody who is just very secure in their power, and they are like I am here as a child of the universe, a child of God, I am friends to the angels, I am a co-participant in life, I am a sovereign soul who is connected to all things and I've choosing to have a human experience as a soul.

So I have rights to invoke my spiritual protection to be in my heart to rock my heart magic, to move about this world and really be the change in the light that I wish to create in this world. And there is a knowledge and a security and a sense of groundedness that comes from that. And so that is what paradigm I'm working with today for the idea of being fierce. It's this very like heart-fierce kind of warrior energy in a very beautiful way.

[2:57] The Akashic Records on Fear

And I asked the records what fear was. And they gave me a very typical records response, which often sounds like somebody is reciting from an encyclopedia, when I asked them for a definition or something like that. They seemed a little bit amused at me like you want us to read this to you. Okay. But you know, in essence, the records talked about fear being a response that can be physiological, it can also be psychological with emotional and somatic components. And that it is a state that we have, when we they call it the great forgetting, when we forget that we are connected to source all times when we forget that we to our spirit, when we forget the truth of our souls.

And when I asked them tell me more about the great forgetting because they said Fear is a byproduct of that sense of being separated from the source, separated from the eternal truth. And that there's almost like this trickle down effect throughout generations and decades and centuries.

And all of that were some of the things that we have fear about right now are physiological responses that are more of like an evolutionary biology, fear or something having to do with instinct. But a lot of the things that we have fears about now are a result of our collective wounds and humanity, our collective history, things that we have seen happen before or happened to other people or problems that we know might happen in this world.

And so our fears are often based on projections of some of those things and information that we've taken in and we perceive it somehow is fearful in this Oh, no, I hope that doesn't happen to me.

So our fears are shaped by what we've witnessed what we've experienced the stories we've heard what we've watched the stories that have passed down in our families, sometimes they are projections of the mind where we have no reference point for them. And all of a sudden, we start imagining the worse.

I am steering clear today of things that might be qualified as a rumination that might be something that you would talk to a psychologist about. I, I'm laughing, I'm a psychologist, but there are things that people might come and throughout the years, and they are struggling with something, and maybe there's some sort of component there of anxiety, or obsessive compulsive disorder or something like that. And a byproduct of that, for them might be a irrational fear, that's not really rooted in anything. But that becomes a fear.

That's not really what we're talking about today, that's a little bit of a different fear. That is something a little bit more having to do with neuro chemistry and things happening with the individual.

And we're not talking about what I would call functional fear. And functional fear is like you're hiking. And you see that there's a giant bear on the trail, you know, we'll say 300 feet ahead of you, you see something moving, and it hasn't seen you yet. Most people's reaction to that is not like this total relaxed state of cool, I've always wanted to like have an encounter with the bear on a trail, like most people feel fear. If they're really experienced in the wilderness, they might have a little less fear and a little bit more of that instinct of here's exactly what I know, I need to do to keep myself safe right now.

But the average person would probably have fear and adrenaline shoot through their body. And they would most likely get off the trail at that point and not keep moving in that direction and kind of figure out a plan of action, and fears like that are there for a good reason, they help us make an adaptive choice that keeps us safe.

So there is an evolutionary biological component to fear that it is more of an instinct or some primal reaction, something in our drive system that tells us, you know, you need to adapt, you need to get out you need to do something, I'm not really talking about functional fears that keep us safe. I'm talking more today about something that many of us struggle with.

And that is more of a psychologically based sphere, where we have fears around, what will people think of me, fears around lack, what if I don't have enough money for this? What if this happens, we have fears around things like being judged by other people, or how we might be being perceived.

We can have fears around, I secretly believe I'm not good enough. And I'm afraid no matter what I do, I'll never measure up. I'm talking about very insidious fears and fears that really get to the matrix of some of our core beliefs, and core values and the core foundation that we build ourselves upon. And sometimes we're very aware that those are there. And we are actively working to transmute them and to change them. And sometimes we don't know that they're there until they're until they're very challenged.

[8:24] That Time My Fears Snuck Up On Me

I actually had no idea how much self doubt and fear I had around how my work might be received, until I left private practice in Alaska and move to Hawaii and really started to put myself out there and do things a little bit more publicly, where I was advertising that I did intuitive readings and Akashic Records work.

I remember the first time that I put together a free mini ecourse. I still offer it, it's called Finding Your heart magic, I'll drop the link at the bottom of the write up. And this is on my website, too. But the first time that I did that, and I sat down to create this free course, I was scared to make a video. And this wasn't a live course, this was all pre recorded. And I'm pretty sure that whatever's up there now I've gone back through and reworked the materials throughout the years, but the very first time it was such a big step.

And I remember having all these fears around I'm not a good enough teacher, I don't have anything interesting to say nobody will ever take this. A lot of things around that. And those are fears of lack and self-value and you know, lots lots of fun stuff there that I had to work on. I just had no idea all that was there. I couldn't have because in my previous chapter in life, I was running my practice as a psychologist, and I was very capable of that I had done it long enough that I kind of had a sense of competency with it, and a belief in my own self-efficacy because I've, you know, successfully been doing it for over 10 years, and most people kept coming back and I got good feedback. And, you know, any issues I had throughout the years were pretty few and far between. and So that evidence after a while, told me, gosh, I must be doing a pretty good job at this, you know, people seem to like my services.

So I wasn't afraid of things having to do with that. But when I moved to a new place, and started to work on all these creative and spiritual pursuits, that required me to leave like this big fish in a small pond that I was very comfortable in. And you start to venture out into like the bigger ocean of offerings, and the spiritual industry and wellness industry and psychologists who are moving into those spheres where they're offering things more for the public, I was really terrified. And I couldn't have known those things were there without coming face to face with them.

So sometimes we have fears that we're conscious of, and they are long term friends that we've been working on for a while, or like me that we got over it. And then here it is back again. And we're like, where did you come from? And then we have unconscious fears that we actually might not even know are there until something comes up. And until we encounter them, I'm gonna ask the Akashic records, kind of for a give us a condensed thing I actually asked the question a lot. If you're curious, when I open the records for these podcasts, I treat it as if the Akashic records, you know, who will be listening to this, because they do their spirit.

So whether you're catching this live, when it's first dropped, and it's recently released, or whether you're catching this a year later, and you found this somewhere, and you're listening to it, I put the intention out there that the right people hear these words, and I believe the records, the angels and the guardians of the records, know the IRS who will be listening. And so I asked, What do listeners need to know about fear? Thank you for the good encyclopedia definition. But what do we need to know that's most applicable to us at this time.

[12:09] The Great Forgetting

And the what was really interesting is this is when they said Fear makes you forget that you can step into your power at any point in time. And that's when they also said that fear is a result of the great forgetting, and the great forgetting being that over generations and cycles, and all the time that souls have been coming to this planet where things were originally and where they are.

Now, there's a lot of forgetting that's gone on. And people have forgotten that they are a innately from love, and that they're innately connected to God, to the universe to Creator Source to each other, to Mother Earth, to all of those things.

And it's sort of an interesting paradox, because part of being a soul on a human journey is we do understand ourselves as separate. We do understand ourselves as an individual. And that's part of what we're here for, for soul growth is to experience things as an individual, and to know that I have a right to have boundaries to be my unique self, that it is my spiritual purpose to embody my most authentic expression of self. That is why we are all here to work on remembering Love being love and be the most authentic expression we know to be in any given moment.

And as that continues to change, as we evolve and change, we make changes in our life to continue to express our authenticity, that is who we were created to be that is the blueprint that we are embodying in this form. And that's the best that any of us can do. So there's this interesting paradox that we are here to experience that individually. And yet, when we forget that we are also connected to spirit on a soul level, that we have access to this greater web of interconnection, we've really forgotten a very integral, like the integral part of ourselves.

And we have forgotten that our true power really comes from our connection to spirit, our connection to our heart, which is our gateway and portal to spirit and how we connect to things like love and compassion and all of that you don't think your way into love, you feel it in your heart, and your mind has a chemical reaction and thoughts around that. So our heart connection is our connection to all of those beautiful mysteries and all of those things. But when we forget about that connection, that is when fear can really take root in our lives.

[14:53] How Do We Work Constructively With Fear?

So let's talk a little bit about how do we work constructively with fear and how do we move into To this fear, state of self-belief and embodying our sense of spiritual sovereignty, and how do we find resilience?

If we thought we were moving through the world like that, and then we get knocked down or punched in the face, or something comes along out of nowhere. And we're like, that was not the energy. I was admitting I was walking tall, I wasn't gonna break my stride, I was feeling really good. I was rocking my heart magic. And this thing came along, and it just like knocked me down. And now I'm afraid it's gonna happen again, like, how do we find resilience from that? And how do we keep getting back up and moving forward?

Anyways, we are not here to not experience the emotion of fear. It's just part of our human experience, we will experience it. We are here to figure out how do we work with it constructively? How do we transmute it? How do we move it through our systems, so it doesn't become something that coalesces in our psyche, and become something that we're trying to create from are always reacting to or always projecting.

So fear is actually an alchemical ingredient that we work on to transmute and transform. The first thing that I think we need to do sounds so obvious, but it needs to be said is facing our fears. And by facing them, I mean, like literally looking at them. And we talked about this a little bit last week, when we were talking about breaking toxic patterns and cycles. And I made the point like, you have to be able don't lie to yourself, like look at it for what it is.

And the same thing holds true for fear, if we don't know they're there, then we're probably going to keep acting out of them. If we haven't actively worked on healing them, because we're not aware of them, or we're in denial about it and don't want to admit something to ourselves, then there's not really a way that we can effectively like it's not going to just evaporate.

Fears usually don't just go away, when they're part of our psyche and our internal, like cognitive architecture, the thoughts that we have, and the beliefs that we have about the world, they don't usually just evaporate, so we actually have to face them. And that really comes through when we are doing our inner work and our spiritual practices. And when we are asking questions like why am I stuck right now? Or what might be holding me back? Or, Wow, I really want to do this thing and create this thing, or write this book or sign up for this course. But I keep not doing it. I wonder why that is?

That's when we become investigative. And we say, Well, why is that when we think of ourselves as soul archaeologist, detectives of our own experience, where we are on a quest for personal discovery, and we stay curious about our experience itself, and we look at our behaviors and stay very open when we realize something's not quite in alignment, or we're seeing a pattern that we've got questions about, those are beautiful gateways to do some self-reflection, and to do a little bit of evaluation on might fear be part of the matrix here.

And if you're having difficulty facing it, this is a great time to talk to a friend who's wise, talk to a therapist, talk to somebody who does, like energy work, you know, coaching, spiritual coaching, somebody like that, that is trusted, and knowledgeable.

So you can say, I can't quite see what the block is here. Can you help me uncover it? So there's always ways to get at it. But once we know something's there, we just have to see it for what it is, we have to be able to say, well, I've got an issue, where I'm afraid that there's not enough to go around that I want to write a book. But it seems like everybody else already wrote great books.

And there's already all these good authors. And they're these New York Times bestsellers. And it seems like everybody's writing a book these days. And I don't think my words are as valuable as everybody else's. And do we really need one more book? And I don't know that I'll find a way to publish it. And I just don't even know if it holds any value.

And besides, it just seems like people already said the stuff that I would have said, do you hear what's really underneath all that? There is a fear there, that your work not only is not good enough, but there's a fear of lack there, that somehow writing isn't meant for you because everybody else got to at first. This is a common one that is really insidious that a lot of people struggle with, we shoot ourselves down, because we feel like somebody else is already doing it.

And if you really keep chasing that down and unlearning what's underneath that and what's underneath that sometimes what's up underneath it is this core belief of not enough that somehow there was only so much to go around, only so many books to go around only so many people who could be successful. And it's all taken up. And there's none leftover for you that the good things that are meant for you that are promised for you on your soul path, the dreams in your heart that you've been given for a reason, somehow aren't meant for you. And there's a fear there around that sense of lack, there's not enough abundance, something having to do with that. So we have to really like look and kind of get to the bottom of what it is. And when we can see it for what it is, we really start to know how to work with it. And that moves us into the next thing that we do, and that is disempower the fear.

[20:50] Disempowering Fear

So I think in order to effectively work with fear, not only do we have to be able to recognize it for when it's coming up, but we have to find a way to not buy into it story. Because fear does tell us a story, fear is going to tell you like if you're wanting to do something, and you've got some great thing that you'd like to bring out into the world. But you're afraid that nobody will read it, buy it, purchase it be interested because everybody else is already doing it.

That is a great fear to start to challenge and disempower it. Because if you're not doing the thing, because that's what's holding you back, that's your entry point to beginning to shift it into a place of personal belief and self power. And so there's a lot of ways that we can do that, we might actively work on deconstructing our thoughts around it, I will use words like architecture, deconstruct, when I talk about our thoughts, because in my mind, when I think about cognitions, I actually have this visual image of architecture.

You know, I see these schemas and these templates and like, almost see it like a frame of a house or a building or something like that, when I use these words that we build as mental constructs. And those mental constructs create our perspective, that is the building that we are looking out at the world from, and it is based on things that we've been taught things that we believe things that we thought we've experienced, and we've had an interpretation of them. And that informs our belief system.

And I'm a big fan of deconstructing the architecture that we build things on when we realize it's not working for us. If somebody is afraid to do the thing, because they feel like other people have already done it.

Somewhere inside of them, they have built a house out of I would say like, sticks and thinking of the three little pigs or whatever it was where their houses keep being blown down, you know, they built this house out of sand. They didn't build a house out of self-belief. And if it's in my heart to do it, I meant to do it. They're not building a house out of a sense of autonomy and being like, well, who cares what other people are doing, I'm gonna give gratitude because it means that it can be done. If they did it, I can do it too. If I'm seeing evidence that other people are able to write a book and successfully bring a project into the world, and I can probably do that as well, that is so cool that they can do that I feel so inspired.

Like that's a very different structure to build inside of us than one that's on like this really shaky ground and faultlines with like bad materials, where we do not have a psychological groundedness that creates a belief and our own capability and even more so a belief and sources capability and in the universe's abundance.
 
So when we think about disempowering fears, sometimes it's about deconstructing what we've architected our fears around. What thoughts have you built your fears on? Where did those thoughts come from? Who taught you that? Where did you learn that? A lot of individuals sometimes learn things and their family systems and sometimes somewhere along the way, somebody told them, you'll never amount to that or you can't ever do that or you're such a dreamer, that will never happen.

Sometimes those things are based on what we just seen in the world around us or what somebody outside of our family system said to us. There's many things that can create some kind of foundation of fear in our life, and so we disempower it by deconstructing it and taking it apart. When identifying well what do I want to build this out of? You know, last week on the podcast I very bravely shared you know my journey into being alcohol free. And I shared some of the toxic patterns I've been breaking break Yes, breaking in my life actively that are suffering courting me and making that choice.

And one of the toxic patterns that I chose to share was about how my first few years on the island, I kind of had this chip on my shoulder when things weren't working out the way that I thought they would. And I'd get really mad as spirit. Like, I made this big leap of faith, I did this big thing, why isn't more working out in my favor? What am I doing wrong? Do I need to do this? Do I need to do this, there was so much anxiety around it. And there was such a story around that. And such a focus on lack. And whatever reason that lack existed, maybe I created it, maybe I didn't. And it was just a byproduct of circumstances, maybe it was something on a soul level that I agreed to go through to learn about that experience. It doesn't matter.

[25:48] Architecting a New Story

What I shared was, I am architecting a new story. And I have been for a while now that is about gratitude and appreciation and abundance, and really catching myself out. If I ever fall back into that old way of thinking and being like, ooh, that is not a house that I want to live in anymore. You know, I have deconstructed that, and I'm going to upcycle some of those materials just needed to be like, thrown into the waste dump and released away and some of them can be upcycled and shined up a little bit and create something better for me.

So that is what we do we identify the vision of like, well, what do I want to believe? You know, what am I learning spiritually is true about these things. If you don't know, educate yourself, listen to podcasts to people that you admire, listen to audiobooks of books that are inspiring to you. Listen to, or read books, based on spiritual principles, maybe that really speak to you find the things that light you up, and that make you feel good inside.

And that offer you a positive perspective. Look at other people that are doing it in a way that either you admire or have a story that you admire, where they overcame something, there's great advice out there on all sorts of stuff on how to live better and live our best lives.

So surround yourself with those things. Teach Yourself new perspectives. This is part of exercising our fierceness as a sovereign soul. And using our intelligent minds and our cleverness and our resources to say, I don't know enough about this, I want to learn and so I'm going to create opportunities for myself.

Another way to disempower your fears is to do some somatic work. And when I was talking to the Akashic and creating the content for this episode, one of the things that was coming through in our dialogue was that sometimes when we are afraid, we actually feel in our body, like we get like a very achy feeling in our stomach, or solar plexus, or maybe our chest tightens up, and we feel really anxious.

And when that happens, it is often difficult to access our higher thinking in those moments, like when we start to feel a sense of fear or panic, and it really hits us on a somatic level. And our brain starts to interpret that as Oh, no, I'm under threat, it might not be a real threat, but our brain doesn't always distinguish. A lot of times what happens is that we lose our ability to access that higher executive functioning. And so we might not be able to sit down and deconstruct the fears in that moment, depending on how bad it is.

[28:32]  Releasing Fear from Our Bodies

So I think that's when some somatic work is very helpful, and maybe just doing deep breathing. And like, I breathe out the fear and I exhale it and I inhale a sense of sources abundance, like sources support your spiritual support, whatever that is. You can do chakra work, where you think about where are you feeling the fear in your body? So solar plexus is often the, I think the third chakra, and is that the sacral chakra, and sometimes gold is associated with that.

So you don't have to use the assign colors.
A lot of times when I'm doing meditative work, and guided visualizations with clients, I'll just ask them, What color is power to you, like, you know what color when you think about feeling strong, and your center comes through. And so then I might say, I just want you to imagine that that color swirling like in your sacral chakra, you know, in your core. Imagine that there's a big Sun inside of you and it's shining with light and it's connected to this greater sun, that the Earth rotates around. And that's connected to multiple signs in the universe and the light in the universe.

And, you know, I'll just go with the flow, whatever comes through, but it is the sense of moving from that sick somatic feeling. Bringing a resource into our body where we focus on something that helps shifts shift it like for graph our color or a quality that we need. It could be a animal that gives you courage, maybe could be an angel, if you have an angelic, you know, an archangel a guardian angel, it could be a specific deity or energy are something that you feel very connected with, what doesn't matter, what matters is that you focus on it, and you work with the shifts in your body.

That's a powerful way to disempower fear, because you're offering your nervous system, a new experience of how it feels to feel the fear, clench up and then relax.
And when we offer ourselves a new experience, that is what helps our brain began to create a new neural pathway that says, next time I feel this way, maybe I should try this because it worked. And I felt much better afterwards.

So when we have a new experience, and we shift something in our body through meditation, through breathwork, maybe a sound bath, listening to soothing music, there's a lot of ways that the senses can be invoked in this, you might use essential oils, and you breathwork you can combine things, a lot of people do some form of a tapping that they've learned through EMDR, or emotional freedom technique, or acupressure.

There's many, many tools out there, like many tools, I don't have a recommendation of this is the best tool, my recommendation is to figure out what works for you and pick a few things. So you've got an easy go to and then use it. And when you give your body that new experience, instead of staying in the fear and staying knotted up, it allows it to relax.

And that makes it easier next time you start to realize it's coming up to be like I'm gonna do that again. Because last time I focused on sunshine inside me in a beautiful cold color. And I called on Archangel Arielle and I use some tangerine essential oil. And that really helped, you know, and then I had a nice cup of chamomile tea. You know, think about what you do that helped and start to use that is a little grounding ritual, a comfort ritual of your fierce ritual that helps bring your body back to a grounded place.

[32:28] Tools for Transmuting Our Fears

All right. As we are doing those things, and we are disempowering the fear, something else that we're doing is we began to transmute the fear. And at the beginning of the episode, I was talking about how we are going to experience fear, it's part of the human experience, there's a physiological response where it's in our nature anyways to have it. So we're not here to not feel that we are just here to learn how to work with it constructively to transmute it as much as possible.

And then as we overcome some of our fears, hopefully move into a place where we are much less fear based. And especially with irrational things that are old stories and psychological projections, and we move into a much more empowered space.

So there's many ways to transmute fear, I just named a couple of them, when you disempower it, you just transformed it, you just did some body work where you exhale it out. And instead you breathed in strength, you know, but other additional ways to transmute fear are affirmations and mantras. Those are very helpful. And I really recommend simple things here. And the reason I recommend them is what I said earlier, when we begin to feel fear, our brain starts to say there's a threat, especially when that becomes amplified.

So if you're in a really objective place where you're just like looking at the fear, and you kind of laid it out on a table, and you can stay neutral and investigate it, and you're kind of facing it, not from an attached place, but more of a place of like, let's take a look at this, you know, where did this come from, like you're gonna be able to access and do a lot more around it.

But if you're getting psychologically aroused, where you are feeling anxious or feeling panicked, and you're like, oh my gosh, I can barely breathe or something like that. The simpler, the better. Because your brain is not going to be able to make it objective in the moment and you know, logically analyze it, those things are going to come later. So we want to keep it easy.

So having a mantra or an affirmation of like I'm bigger than my fears, or I have the power to move through my fears and transmute them to faith and love. There's so many great affirmation cards out there. There's a lot of people in social media who do like inspirational quotes and affirmations. It's super fun to put together your own little toolkit of things that make you feel good.

And that could be a digital toolkit, and where you have pictures of stuff on your phone and you put them in an album, and you pull them up when you need encouragement or need to remember how amazing and big you are, it could be a sensory one, where you've got things like your oils and some crystals and a favorite deck of cards. You know, there's a lot of ways to do a toolkit, it could just be a list that you make of here's some things that I helped me.

So in the moment, if you're forgetting, you just pull up your list that you wrote down in your phone, or you wrote it down in your journal, and you're like, oh, yeah, here's 10 things I can do when I feel when this starts coming up for me, and I'm going to choose this one. But when we do that, we do begin to transmute it.

And working with an affirmation is a way to actively take a fearful thought. And instead, flip it and actively work with what you would like to create. That is actively working with the energy of abundance, or faith, or joy.

Like if you're afraid that history is going to keep repeating itself in your life, and you're never going to get out of a hole that you find yourself in or you're always going to be stuck or you're never going to move forward or anything like that. Well, you flip it, you work with it. And you can say something like spirit supports me and moving forward and living my best life. I trust my future self to figure this out. And to move me through this challenge in my life, I trust my angels have my back, and that they will help protect me while this is going on and move me to save for waters, the sky's the limit for what you want to come up with. Sometimes it's something as simple as I'm going to be okay. I've made it this far on the journey, and I can carry on.

[36:43] Focus On Where You'd Like To Be

So doing something like that shifts your attention and focus to a much more positive place. That's a beautiful way to work with the energy of transmutation. The other one is to actively create something that either expresses your fear but brings beauty into it like a piece of art, or a poetry, write it out, you know, journal about it, then create a poem or piece of art from that place. Maybe you end up teaching about something. And that's your way of transmutation of the fears.
 
You know, years ago when I was sitting down to to my pre recorded first class I shared earlier on this, that I was really afraid that I wasn't good enough. And I don't really have that anymore. I feel like as many people are out there with offerings, I certainly have a voice to share with the world. I know what my purpose is. I'm here to teach on heart wisdom. And I'm here to teach on the Akashic records. I'm here to teach on how do we alchemize what happens in our life and transform it.
 
So we keep actualizing and having growth and moving forwards. I'm here to be a light, I'm here to experience joy. All of those things are the transmutation of fear and the byproduct of where I've arrived over the last however many years. And so I'm speaking today from that fierce place of self-belief on the 20th podcast without some attachment to the story, that what I have to say isn't a value, I genuinely believe that those that are meant to hear these words will. And I'll connect with the people I meant to connect to. And for those that they're not meant for. That's okay, there's so much out there, right? There's so much that we can choose from I'm not here for everybody. And I can say all those things because of that transformational work.
 
So when we transform it, or when we write out the fear, but then maybe write but here's what I really want to believe that's a fantastic way to work on transforming and transmuting of fear, like write the raw stuff, write out whatever feels icky. And then write out the perspective of here's where I want to get to, and I don't I mean, maybe know how to get there. But I do know that this is how I'd like to feel.

So that's fantastic way to create that vision. And then focus on your vision and you can talk to your heart, talk to your angels, talk to your guides, talk to spirit, talk to God, talk to the mysteries and just say help me make the leap to that better state of consciousness, because that's where I would like to move from.

[39:24] Be Messy and Do It Anyways

There will come a time that we figure out that moving from fear to fierce actually requires movement, and that sometimes the only way to claim empowerment is just to like plow through the fear and do it anyways. So I was thinking today while I was out running, how I have this like vision of myself and how I'd like to handle life. And so like this hire Beth and she's very capable. I'm very unruffled, very unflappable, you know, something comes my way and I'm like, no problem. I've got This or I'm like, no problem. I might not have this, that angels got my back. Like, you know, spirits got my back, we've got this.

And I'm like super, as I said, unflappable, and then I was laughing because in this vision, I like have great hair and like very self organized. I'm very composed. And I'm very self possessed. And sometimes I am that version of self, oftentimes not as much. And so many things that I've grown through to arrive at a place of no longer being afraid of them, required me to go through it in a really messy way. And to go through it like terrified or shaking or being like, I don't even know what's gonna happen with this. I'm so afraid right now.

There's definitely been some challenges that I've not really talked about openly on the podcast, I've not written about them, and my buckshot, and I am going to start folding them into the next book that I'm writing, that is really about how do we find hope and keep moving forward and really work our spiritual connection, when we feel like maybe we're, like, have lost the path or we're struggling or we're failing, or we're having major challenges and obstacles come up. And some of those things on this island have really cast me into a place of fear, a story I have not told, and I don't have time to go into it today.

But I have a whole story around the year 2022, when we realized a neighbor who lived about maybe 20 feet from us, their house was where the houses are really close here. And we shared driveway that the neighbor switched. And this totally different person came out. And we started to have really big problems. And over the course of the next 910 months, we were having experiences like being threatened. He was stalking me around town. We had property damage that happened. We had, as I said, different threats that were made against us.

And so the last summer, it was right when I was turning 45. I remember it was right between my my birthday. Like the week before my birthday, we were in court filling out paperwork for a restraining order. And then the following week, like just four days after my birthday, we were in court seeing if he'd show up to see if the judge would grant a protective order. I had fear y'all like I did not move through those things, I did not have good hair, I wasn't unflappable, like I was really, really, really a nervous mess.

You know, all of that was very scary to me. And where I might be more comfortable dealing with fears around like self doubt, or something like that. And I might know how to work with that. No, I did not know how to work with being in the legal system and having to do these scary things and get a restraining order. And then knowing that we're living 20 feet from this person, you know that the police are going to show up, and they're going to try and like give the restraining order to him. And like that was a whole thing where he was hiding out in the house and wouldn't come out to get it.

And so until it was awarded, we had no protection. I mean, there is a story here that I haven't told yet, because there's probably still some trauma there. And I've never quite figured out the context to tell it. But that is a slice of it today. And I had psychological fear. And I had physiological fear.

And what I can tell you is that I was very protected during that experience that some things did happen that were scary. But nothing happened that was so big that it did major major trauma and damage and a very severe kind of way. And we were really moved and guided through that experience. And the ending of this experience was really quite beautiful. You know, the person ended up leaving the property and they'd been there almost 20 years. Other people had complained before nothing could get them out.

So I've got a whole kind of miracle story about spirit intervening and helping us find what we needed. And actually, so he's no longer there, the house is going to be put up on the market soon. And I've just been saying bring in good neighbors, bring in good people of the light. And so this whole thing was a very fear based thing for me it was horrible to go through, I still have some anger that our first year in our new home was really tainted by this experience of this very extreme darkness and some psychosis.

And yet at the same time, one of the gifts that I took from it was how supported we are and how surrounded and light we were, and that we were absolutely guided through this and in the end what seemed impossible, which was to get him out of the house and create safety for ourselves. You know, my understanding is everybody who moved here or lived here before eventually ended up moving and he was one of the reasons we found all this out after the fact.

But you know, the impossible actually was made possible and that was through trembling and praying anyways, and invoking spiritual protection and calling on wise people that I knew and getting some support where I was faltering. I mean, a lot of work went into that. A lot of lessons for there.

[45:14] Some of The Greatest Lessons Come From Facing Fear

Now, I hope, if you are listening to this, he we're not going through anything that extreme. That was in an extremely unique life circumstance that has never experienced anything like that I hope to never again, I don't suspect that I will, I hope that you are more identifying things like fear of lack, or fear of I'll never find love or always be stuck in this relationship, or whatever it is where it's a little lesser, and you don't feel like physically afraid or something like that.

But what I can tell you is that I do believe that these principles apply across the board. And sometimes we might need to leave a situation or exit or do something in order to secure ourselves.

But what I'm talking about with working with the fear, and invoking protection, and transforming it, and all of that, those things hold spirit has our back. And sometimes the best way to learn that is having to face our fears, but not like not just face them, but move through them, you know, not just say, I wish this would disappear. You know, and I can honestly say looking back at the year 45, I'm going to be 46 at the end of July.

So I've got a little bit of time left. But I've started to do my assessment of what was your 45 about for me. And I really think one of the big themes was wisdom that came from facing fears, because so much of the stuff that's come up this year, I wish simply wasn't happening. And I felt really angry that it was happening. But I am forced to admit that I am a much stronger me because of it. And I found more of a fierce warrior energy than I had really tapped into before. And I needed to find that in order to move about my life in this world with a little bit more wisdom, and invoking protection.
And so sometimes we just have to do it anyways.

You know, back in 2017 18, when I was afraid to teach that course and create, I think I think I called it this world needs your heart - it has evolved since its original incarnation. But this first course that I put up is this freebie on my website, I did it anyways. And you know, I made myself post a video on YouTube anyways.

And I made myself offer free intuitive readings at Christmas time on Facebook anyways, even though I was afraid, because I felt like I needed to do those things in order to face my fears. So sometimes we just do it anyways, we don't feel strong, we say Be with me, I'm going to do this. And it's a messy. And on the other side of it, we say and now I'm a little bit stronger.

[47:51] Spirit Has Our Back: Invoking Protection

The last point I want to make today, which is probably the most important is the importance of invoking spirit and our spiritual protection when we are facing our fears. If you are not actively tapping into, however resonates with you, whatever you pray to however you set your intentions and understand your relationship with the divine in higher power. If you're not actively saying higher power, just going to use that as a catch all for kind of encompass all of our beliefs helped me be strong enough to face this helped protect me, I'm afraid right now, the neighbor psychotic, he has threatened us, he just damaged our property. You know, help us right now. We are afraid, protect us.

If you are not actively invoking give me the strength to stand up in front of this audience and speak, give me the strength to say the very hard thing to somebody I'm really afraid to because it's going to change everything. If I speak my truth, give me the strength to leave behind this thing that I'm addicted to. And to actually make the leap into a different form of self where I no longer am feeding into this addiction. If we're not using that.

Then I'm actually feeling kind of guided to loop back to what I said at the beginning with fear was the great forgetting, forgetting that we're connected to that and seeing ourselves as separate from that. So if we're not using that, then we're probably trying to change the thing and our own power.

And there's many of us, many of you are listening to this. You are very powerful individuals, you are very capable. You are very competent. You are very motivated. You've done amazing things in your life. You've got good minds, brave hearts, lots of motivation, great resumes, all of those things, but if you're not calling on spirit, and using that As part of what powers you, then we can only go so far. And it can be really hard to will our way through a fear, especially stuff that is deeply entrenched or bigger. If we don't have that, and since this podcast is about your heart magic, and part of your heart magic is rockin our spiritual connection, that needs to be a part of how we move into fierceness.

And so prayer intention are beautiful ways to do that. visualizing how you'd like to see things, and saying, you know, helped me create this, I'm pretty sure I did some form of angels, thank you for helping us get through this safely with the neighbor situation, thank you so much that he no longer lives there. And this is before he moved out. And I used to visualize like new neighbors coming into that house, and that he was just gone. And it actually seemed impossible. Given the details of things I you know, I was like, I don't know how this will ever happen. Nobody's gotten this guy out in 18 years, the real owner of the property can't get them out. There was a distant relative relation there. And, you know, some codependency and big story there.

You know, but I would visualize that he wasn't there, I couldn't always do it. Sometimes I was not in a place to do it. But when I could, I would visualize that we are safe, and we're happy and our home is a sanctuary. And if ever we leave this space, because we do love our house, and the land that we're on feels like good land. It was a neighbor problem, not like an issue of living somewhere that was a bad place or had bad energy. You know, if we ever leave this place, I want it to be not because we're fleeing, you know, I want it to be where we were able to enjoy our new home.

[51:44] Love is the Highest Protection

So we have to invoke that protection, we have to invoke that connection, we have to think like I activate my psychic shield or protection. And our protection is love. You know, sometimes I'll picture a big mirror bubble or light bubble around me. And I'm like, this is like my big old sphere. And nothing bad's allowed to come in only energies that support me. And anything that's not meant for me may it bounce off and fall.

I used to walk down the driveway, past the neighbor's house and my head I would be like Care Bear Stare. If you've seen the Care Bears, and the 80s and you're now picturing me doing the Care Bear Stare or better yet, you're picturing it coming out of yourself. You're welcome. And if not, look it up the Carebear Stare - awesome.
And I needed that levity, right, I needed to not only feel protected, but when I thought about things like the Care Bear Stare, and I had this like superpower and the Care Bears are with me, that's joyful, it brought me into a frequency of joy and love it and that was a little bit lighter than being in the frequency of fear, or like feeling all this negativity towards him.

So we can use playfulness. And when we talk about disempowering fear, play with cartoony images in your head, see the fear and picture yourself conquering it. You know, when I opened the Akashic Records today, and I said I opened them for fear, from fear to fierce, the image that came through was actually of like he man or a cartoon Thor type character that like came down out of the sky and landed on the ground where like all this darkness had pool and like they put their thunder Bolden and like everything dispersed, and there was rainbow shooting everywhere. I mean, it looked like something that you would have seen back in the 80s on She-Ra, or He-Man or one of those cartoon hours.

And that was really playful. And the records will use playful imagery and jog our memory of playful, cartoony things sometimes to bring levity to a topic that they want to help us lift our frequency around so we can approach it from a place that doesn't feel so energetically dense. All right. Well, I'm smiling over here because I feel like any podcast that is created where you end on he man and Shira, and the Care Bear Stare and memories of the 80s and Rainbow Bright is awesome and is very appropriate for her 20th episode.

[54:20] Coming Up Next Week

Thank you so much for joining me and for all the listeners who joined on since I started this. Let's do the next 20 and keep going from there. I can't wait to see what keeps coming through next week will be an Akashic Records week. It is an Akashic wildcard topic, which means I'm going to be opening the records on some topic that I feel called to. Not quite sure yet, but the focus will be on something that is very specific of what do the records want us to teach us about this that is relevant to our modern-day age, and so I look forward to whatever wants to come through. 

Until then have a beer Have a week and be well be love, be you and be magic