Below is a transcript of the episode as generated by Otter.ai. (*please note, this transcript has only been edited to put in line breaks for easier readability and may contain errors where a word or phrase got lost in transcription.)

[0:36] Introduction to Episode

Aloha, everybody, welcome to your heart magic. This is Dr. BethAnne Kapansky Wright. And today we are talking about the topic trusting the wild unknown. And I love this topic. I say that about all of them.

But I feel like part of what is so special about this particular topic to me is, it feels deeply personal. I have shared a lot on this podcast that in my own journey, I made this huge life change back in 2017, and moved from Alaska to the island of kawaii and at the time, I really declared to the universe that I wanted to live more intuitively more spiritually and more creatively.

And I also talked quite a bit about the idea that I was ready for reinvention, that I was going to Kauai to live in this different way and to reinvent myself and understand myself in new ways.

And I think that this whole move, I'm just past like six years being here, I just realized, actually, tomorrow, the 10th will be exactly six years. And I think that this whole move for me has been about trusting the wild unknown, it has been about leaving behind life that was very fixed, and very dialed and, and very planned in the sense that I knew maybe not everything that would be happening in my life from moment to moment.

But let's rewind like eight years ago, and in September of, you know, 2015, or whatever that would be if somebody said What will you be doing for your job in six months time? And what will you be doing to make an income? What will you be doing for moral up living? Will you be like in the same location? Will you have moved? Like, what's your life going to look like?

I probably could have projected a fairly accurate analysis of how life would look. And I wouldn't have been able to tell you everything, I wouldn't have been able to tell you some of the things that might happen relationally events beyond me that might be going on, I might not be able to tell you where exactly I would be in terms of my mood, or my own personal Soul Cycle and sense of self and what would be on my mind. But I could have mapped out on paper. Well, here's how I think that life would look and projected that.

And one of the things that was so remarkable when I got to this island back in 2017 is I couldn't do any of those things. I knew I wasn't planning on leaving the island anytime soon. But I really didn't know what I still be living in the same rental that I was in. That was up in the air. I didn't have some sort of long term lease or anything like that. I didn't know where would I be living on the island?

In a year's time, two years time three years time. Would I be around the same place that I was currently living? Would I be somewhere else entirely. I couldn't tell you what I would be doing fully for income because I had really closed my full time private practice. And I was still doing some telehealth and a little bit of one on one work.

But I scaled way down and kind of did a partial, not a permanent retirement but at the time sort of a partial sabbatical retirement. And my life just looked completely different. I couldn't tell you who my friends were going to be over here on the island. I couldn't tell you where I might go work out or what my favorite running trail would be. Or where would my favorite like coffee shop or eating place be? Where would I love to go to walk the dogs? Where would I go if I wanted some self care? I couldn't have told you any of those things.

And when I first got over here, I remember having a sense of just like this huge blankness to all of it. Like I had just stepped into the pages of a brand new book and I had no sense of what was coming Action, the chapter, what was going to be coming next towards the second half of the book, what will be happening in that new series of books that was about this completely new paradigm that I was trying to create in my life.

And there had been many, many, many lessons over the last six years. So today, I'm just going to be talking about some perspectives and ideas, because that was a really radical change.

And there might be some people who listen to this, where you have underwent a radical change, maybe you have moved, maybe you've done a relocation, maybe you've gone through something like a divorce or separation, or some sort of a ending of a relationship. Maybe you have had a major loss. And you are wondering, how do I move forward in my life, without this thing that was anchoring me without this person in my life. So many people might relate to some kind of big shift going on. But I often think, too, that our shifts might not always be quite so dramatic.

Sometimes they're smaller. Sometimes they might be things like leaving a job, or we're looking for a new job, maybe we're contemplating leaving a relationship, maybe we are thinking about making a change in our life, and we're afraid to do so maybe we've left something behind. And it's not going the way that we wanted it to. And we can't quite figure out Am I still on the right track? Have I gotten off course.  And it's really confusing.

Maybe you are three, four or five years into something that you've been trying to build. And it looks completely different than what you thought it thought it would be. And you're not getting the outcome that you expected. And so you're really questioning.

So I think there's multiple ways this idea of trusting that while and no one applies to all of us, and I'm going to be talking about some general principles today that I think any of us can take and use them wherever we're out on the journey, and hopefully apply them to our own individual paths in order to feel a little bit more oriented, a little bit more reassured. And a little bit more anchored when we are taking the steps of courage.

[7:18] Tiny Fish In A Giant Pond

But I thought I would tell a funny story first, before I start to dive into some of those key talking points. So I actually wrote an essay called trusting the wild I know and I think that was the title. And this was back in 2017. And I wrote it about three months after coming to the island and submitted it to one of those online places that publishes pieces like that.

And I got the idea when I was out, I think running with my husband, it was our anniversary, we were having an anniversary day run, and I had this thing happen that really happens with my words when I'm in a big writing phase. And that is they will just start to come into my brain and I have to get them down. If not on paper, I have to get them down on audio recording, I have to capture it somehow because I don't want to lose the thread.

So I remember running and stopping to walk. And I was having all these analogies come in about navigating the unknown. And I was thinking about animals and inspiration from our nature friends, and how animals sometimes like mice and the darkness or elves, or various kinds of animals might navigate the dark through using different senses through using different sensory input different perceptive abilities.

And I really started to see this fun mirror metaphor about kind of comparing to like different animals and really saw this essay come together in my mind. And I think that might have been one of the first like very inspired things that I wrote over here that I felt called to submit to something beyond just posting it on my own blog.

So I wrote this up and really crafted it. And I was really hoping to, you know, submit it to this online site that accepts publications. A friend of mine wrote for them as well. And she had a good relationship with the people who ran it. And what happened is, she submitted right around the time I did it because they knew her. She kind of like bypassed the line. And I think it was they were like, Oh, it's so and so we love her work, you know, and her piece was published within 48 hours or something like that. So I had this expectation that mine should be similar.

And I had this expectation that I would get like the same kind of greeting even though I didn't have the personal relationship but I published a couple of books by then I published it some other places. I felt like I was establishing a reputation for myself. And what I remember happening really vividly is I didn't hear anything back for a few days.

And so I started to have that self doubt thing where I questioned if they even got the submission. Because sometimes the way you press enter or send on a submission isn't over email, it was through like an online portal. So first, I kind of emailed them being like, we did you get this, I think I resent it, like once or twice more accidentally before I did that. So like, finally I emailed them.

And I get a response back within about 24 hours. And they basically told me like, yes, we received it, you have to wait your turn. And they sent it much more nicely than that. But it was like there's many submissions in front of you, you know, your piece will be published in approximately two weeks, and we'll get back to you with any feedback.

So it was a polite response. But I wanted to tell you about my reaction, because it's this piece on trusting the wild Oh, no. And, and I had this moment where I was like, I have to wait. But so so got through, by the way, don't you know who I am? Dr. BethAnne, Kapansky. Wright. I'm a clinical psychologist, I ran a private practice. You know, I've written three books at this point.

And I had this like real ego driven moment of feeling like I'm being told to wait in line, I thought I'd established myself a little bit more. And that was one of my first real like, tangible taste of being a very, very teeny tiny fish and an enormous pond. And I had brushed into that before back when I lived in Alaska. But what I had going for me in Alaska is I had this practice that I'd ran for a really long time.

And so I had a good reputation. I had referral sources, I had clients who liked me, and a lot of friends there. And I knew my place really well. And I didn't realize how much that anchor of feeling like I belonged feeling my work was valued. Feeling that I was respected for some of what I had to offer, I didn't realize how much that anchor helped mitigate some of the difficulty when I had started publishing, which is it is very hard to you got to get a thick skin and get used to rejection. Let me put it that way.

But that other stuff really counterbalanced it. And it kind of like softened some of those rejections because I knew that I had valuable things to say I had really good feedback from people. And I was much more able to put it in the context of like, well, this is just what happens when you start pressing submit, not everything gets accepted. But over and kawaii, I felt really lost.

And even though it was exciting, and there was so much room for creativity, in this like big new blank page book I was writing, I also didn't feel anchored, I left behind an old identity by my own choosing, I had not established a new one, the identity I was hoping to establish was really more of being a respected author and spiritual educator, and transformational teacher, and having enough of my work be out there that individuals who weren't necessarily therapy clients, but just individuals who had read my work had heard of me, and respected what I had to say, I not established any of that yet.

And so I kind of walked in the door thinking like, Oh, I'll get right on through, I've got these nice credentials in front of my name. And instead, I was told to wait in line. And I remember so clearly, you have been like to you know who I am. And I had enough wherewithal at the time to kind of laugh at myself and be like, No, I found they don't know who you are. That's part of what this is about for you. That's part of what the wild I know.

[13:51] Learning To Navigate Uncharted Territory

It is like everything that you wrote about in this essay, you are living right now, you are learning to navigate by new principles, you're learning to feel your way in the dark, you're learning that how you expect things to look might not match up to how things actually look.

And that you are going to have to learn how to work with that or go around it or find an alternative route, or readjust your expectations, you're going to have to develop different skills and talents and senses, perceptions, intuitive perceptions, then you have that you're going to need to rely on that you didn't necessarily have to develop back in your previous version of self.

And I'm smiling fondly at the memory now it's a joy to be able to bring some of these principles to you today that I wrote about in the piece, you know, almost six years later, but it was pretty funny at the time, and I had no idea that I signed up for such a wild ride.

And now I was stepping into this space of Uncharted territory and that it wasn't going to be a matter of, you know, I come to Kauai and within six months times now I've got like the new blueprint, and I've got the map and I know how it's going to look. And I reestablished myself and whoo, like I took that leap of faith. And it was really dicey for a bit. But now everything's like really working out. That's what I expected.

And it's just not at all what happened. What has happened since I've lived over here is that I have been through a process of reinvention, I still am, I've come to see, we are always reinventing ourselves. Sometimes it's just more consciously than others. And I learned quite a bit about living creatively and intuitively and spiritually, and I learned that most of that doesn't look at all the way that I thought it would. And there was no blueprint, it was more of being dropped off in a place.

And the only promise that was attached to being dropped off in this place wasn't how it would look, it was more of this promise of there's something for you to discover over here, it's important that you be on this piece of land for right now. And what I really learned is that being in Kauai, and this whole journey has been a lot less about what I came over here to do, or to produce or to, I guess, become in terms of like my body of work or career or anything like that, that is an extension of what I really came over here for and that was about being and really being a more bigger, expanded version.

It was about spiritually receiving, it was about growing intuitively, it was about growing those intuitive perceptions that I was just talking about, and learning to rely on my heart and trust the process and trust spirit, and trust that things were still going in the right direction, even when it didn't look like it.

That is really less about what I was supposed to do, and much more about who I am. And that is really what trusting the while the unknown is about.

[17:10] Embracing Divine Feminine Energy

Anytime we are going through a major change in our life. It is the emphasis is not on, like what we're going to do in that change what the outcome will be, what it will look like in the end, or how we will look.

The emphasis is not on us, regaining control, and somehow reshaping our lifes in order to falsely reassure ourselves that somehow we're still in charge, and we're still the same us and everything's going to be okay, I will qualify that with when we are in a space of change, it is helpful to have some sense of certainty or, or something that anchors you.

So for some people being completely psychologically ungrounded, where everything is up in the air, if so just orienting it can be really detrimental for their emotional and mental health. So there are times that we might like put a plan in place or say, okay, just for the next six months, I'm going to do this temp work, or I'm going to do this, I just got to put some structure in my life, or else I get depressed or too anxious.

So there is a place for that. But it's not the primary place, it's really the secondary place, the primary place is about us trusting that we are going through some kind of a process some sort of an unfolding.

And that really brings me to the first principle I wanted to talk about today. And that is that in order to trust the wild unknown, we really have to understand how to embrace the divine feminine energy inside of us and understand how that energy works.

We are in a society that is primarily focused on what I would say is a more masculine type energy. And I don't necessarily mean like the patriarchy or anything like that. Certainly that is perhaps a distorted masculine energy that has been taken to this kind of steroid pumped up amplification of power and control and dominance.

That's not really what that's about when we're talking about masculine energy, masculine energy, when it is in a balanced place inside of us is the part of ourselves that knows how to create structure in our life. Spent knows how to take control of a situation and a healthy way to make a plan to use our logic and think about how do I move this forward in a way that makes sense.

That masculine side of us might write down a flowchart or projections for how something's going to look, it might crunch numbers. It might be the part of us that says I'm going to give myself X amount of time to try this new business venture and If it's just not coming back with the return that I'm looking for, this is my plan B.

And I need that to feel a sense of reassurance. It's just the part of us that knows how to organize things. And that creates some system of order, from the creativity and our life that can feel chaotic if it goes unchecked. And because we are in a society that emphasizes, primarily, at least Western society does,

I just realized some of you who might listen to this are global. So it might be different in your part of the world. But I am a citizen of the United States. And my observation of just growing up in this country, is that our emphasis is on doing it's on meeting certain goals, it can still be on status, it can still be on, did you go to college or get married? Or did you do this, and a lot of that is shifting.

It's beautiful to see the shifts. But primarily, there still is this emphasis on more of this masculine doing productivity, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, you know, if you fall down, get back up, be resilient.

labor away or effort away, put together a plan, accomplish things achieve things, there is still an over emphasis on that and an under emphasis on understanding the feminine principle, which is more about allowing what happens in our life to unfold in front of us and working with the ingredients that life brings us.

And that's not about passivity, without having a voice that is about being intentionally less active, where you are not trying to shape things to fit how you think they should look. And you are more open to what is unfolding in front of you.

[21:54] Less Efforting More Allowing

And I remember quite vividly, you're one on the island, I did an Akashic reading with the woman who used to read for me. And one of the things that came through this is about six months after I'd been over here it was in January of 2018. I wrote that essay in about November of 2017.

So it was a few months after I wrote this essay on trusting the wild and knowing and caught, served and sent to the back of the line told to wait my place. But I did this Akashic reading. And one of the things that came through from spirit was you need to stop forcing to make good things happen. And you need to allow good things to happen. And a good example of that is out of nowhere, I got contacted by one of those kinds of publications and said like, Hey, would you like to write for us?

Nothing big ever came out of it. But I published a few articles there. And it was a place that I wasn't paid to wait at the back of the line like they they asked me i and that felt really good. Like it just showed up in my inbox one day, it wasn't something I sought out.

You know, it was about having opportunities show up. Like I really wanted to do some sort of a women's circle. And I kind of put out there a couple of times, you know about doing a circle and nothing was really gelling. And then one day and one of my workout classes one of the women said something about the full moon and how she thought it would be really cool to celebrate. And I think I happen to mention like, Oh, I love doing Moon ceremonies, you know, should we put something together.

And that turned out to be this delightful collaboration. Where we met in this like super cool barn on somebody's giant property. One of the other women like offered it up and it was like this, refurnish barn, and like all these women on the North Shore came, and we did a guided meditation, and there was candles, and I brought some crystals. And, you know, it was a really unique and fun experience.

And those things showed up. And what was challenging for me is every time they showed up, I did that thing where I attach an expectation where I was like, Okay, maybe this is my new thing now, like, I'm just gonna lead a monthly circle, or maybe I'm just gonna write for this place and gain like a readership through there.

And nothing huge ever came from those things. It was more a part of my process of becoming, and learning how to shape my voice in new ways how to teach in new ways, was about having a platform to share some of the things that I was learning with like minded women and like minded souls who were interested in learning those things.

So it wasn't about forcing it or making it like shaping what it was and deciding this is like the new platform or the new way now was more about allowing these things to happen.

And over time, I learned the wisdom that these good things were coming to me not because they were like the next right thing, or the next path I was going to take that somehow was meant to define me and I was going to produce a lot around it, it was just part of the being process, the becoming the learning to receive from Spirit to learning that abundance comes in, and many different directions. And sometimes we can trust that if we're following the cake crumbs of soul, that the opportunity will show up.

So when we're embracing the divine feminine energy, we have to understand that it does have a wisdom all its own, but it's a unique wisdom. It's a nonlinear wisdom, it is the wisdom that says, I was actively putting my voice out there to the universe saying I want to write I was writing blogs, I was trying to pursue writing opportunities, I was having a really tough time at it.

And it was like through this side door, this new opportunity coming in, that allowed me to do a little bit of writing and create a couple of articles and reach a broader audience that I might just end my own blogging, and the only social media sites that I had, it was things like that, where I learned that oftentimes, when we're trying to manifest and create, the energy is more cyclical, or it's like a spiral or something just comes in out of nowhere. And we weren't expecting it.

But we were moving energy in the direction of trying to create opportunity there. And so the universe brings him something better than what we could have imagined or equal to what we imagined, but in a different kind of way. And when we understand that energy is not linear, that it's not a matter of I work really hard, I submit to a bunch of places, one or two of them publishes me and now like I'm develop a great relationship. And I become like, a featured writer, you know, that's the stuff I was kind of hoping for back at that point in my life. Not so much now.

But it's not linear like that. Sometimes it is, and some people's path will go exactly that way. It was more like I was actively putting the energy of writing out and opportunities came from different directions that over the years, allowed me to create a bigger body of work. And now I'm at a point with just having some different projects and hoping to self publish some of those, and trusting the timing around that.

And trusting that I was given what I needed to redevelop my voice as a writer to write about some of the experiences that I had. And I wasn't necessarily meant to do one specific thing with them.

And when we can embrace this idea that we are encouraged with the divine feminine wisdom, to let go of the expectation, to let go of the outcome, to live more moment to moment to say like, Hey, spirit, I'd really like I'm feeling really ungrounded and I need to let's say you're trying to manifest the money, I need to just make some money for like the next couple of months, please bring me that next thing I understand, it might not be a forever thing, you know, or maybe we say I really want to practice my intuition.

I've been working on my skill set, I feel like I'm up to a place where I'd like to start reading for others. I'm kind of interested in going into business eventually. But that feels really big and scary. And I need to start somewhere. Could you bring me like just a way to practice bring me something to help me develop that.

And the encouragement there is to not attach to a specific outcome that like somehow we have to take that and make it into a big thing, that sometimes these things show up just to help us work with the energy.

[28:42] Embracing The Non-Linear Art of Becoming and Manifesting

So divine feminine wisdom, it's nonlinear. It does have a wisdom all of its own. And it's kind of this like uncanny intelligence that we don't always see coming. And then it completely surprises us. And the encouragement there is to allow things to unfold to really think about what is in my heart to do.

Or if you're going through a major life change. And let's say you've gone through loss or the breaking of a relationship or separation or something, maybe all that's in your heart to do is to try and find healing. And you don't know what healing is going to look like which nobody does healing is definitely a nonlinear process.

And so maybe the only intention you have is I don't know how my heart is ever going to heal back from everything I've been through. I feel so flattened out and traumatized. But I know that I need to, I know that I want to find tools to begin to move towards wellness. And so I opened myself up to the healing journey, and I'm going to trust you to bring me what I need for that. It's not uncommon for sometimes people who wander across my path.

Sometimes in a reading sometimes it happens more with my psychology and therapy, but that they've just been put hang out there for a while helped me find that right person or that next thing, you know, and sometimes I get connected with them, and it's a great fit. And I get to be the one who comes in the side door and was like, oh surprise how cool. You know, we're so aligned and we work so well together. And it's so delightful.

Other times what will come through in this is more like if I'm doing an Akashic reading for somebody and they're working on a health related issue or a healing related issue is I will often get the guidance for them, I've just put out there to your angels.

You know, bring me what I need for like healing my health, bring me the right practitioner, bring me the person with the medical knowledge, who's also spiritually open, a lot of my clients have interests in that they want more of the holistic approach. And so oftentimes, the guidance that will come through and those kinds of situations is to tell the person trust, keep putting out there, bring me the right sources of wisdom, because there's so much stuff out there, right, it can be really confusing.

And the guidance is trust the unfolding of the path, trust what you are drawn to on the path, trust, what feels like I'm really curious about this practitioner, or this sounds like it right might be right up my alley.

So often times healing, when we are like answered that the answers to that can come in this beautiful nonlinear way. And so going back to the main point, when we are embracing divine feminine energy, we don't have to know how the outcome is going to look. We're not praying usually for a specific outcome, we are just asking for what we need in that moment.

And if you know what you need is something more concrete, ask for it. If you're not sure, but you know, you need something, I need to be more grounded, I know I need something that helps me feel more calm. I'm really lonely, I need connection. Just say that. And then we trust and pay attention to what presents itself to us and the kinds of things that are showing up in our path.

[32:03] Trusting Your Soul and Your Process

And that segues so nicely into the second principle that I wanted to share. And that is about the idea of trusting the process. And understanding that a process again, it's not linear. Even if you are looking at the process of the seasons, there is a little bit of anticipating if you live in certain climates, like when the season change is going to happen.

But you never really know year to year exactly when it will be. You don't know if you'll have an early spring or late spring, you don't know how bad the winter will be. You don't know you live in Alaska. Bless your hearts. I've heard you've had a rough summer and you had a long spring that did not feel like it was ever going to go into summer. You know, in Alaska, you didn't know if it was May and it looked like the snow had melted that you might not get hit with snow one more time.

But this idea of trusting the process and trusting life's process and spirits process, we are living in a greater web of multiple cycles, we have just the life cycle of human development of life itself is more like this sort of sentient living, intelligent organism and it's happening around us all the time.

And life is this bigger force than we are life has its own process. Life sometimes is this force that will force our hand on something we didn't think we were ready to do, or it will make a change and we get whiplash, it happens so fast. And yeah, life just kind of came like a tidal wave and we had to yield to it. Life is very good at plowing over our best laid plans. And when I say life, I just sort of mean this bigger sense of this is earth life and what it is to be here on this planet that is really imbued with the characteristics of creativity, and evolution and change can sometimes be chaotic.

But so we are in life's process. And we are also and process in cycles of planetary cycles, cosmic cycles. There are many people who listen to this who probably track astrological cycles or some sort of moon or planetary cycle and have some awareness of that.

And oftentimes, if certain things are going on with the planets, there might be energies that are tied up, or it might not be the best time to do something. Sometimes astrologically we might be in a personal cycle, and we might really see where our energy is tied up or things feel kind of clouded.

There are those cycles, then there's the cycle of our soul, and our like higher self and our deeper self and our soul, full self. And I really believe that the soul is very much a part of who we are. That is The part of us that holds all knowledge and information of all lives that knows our divine plan.

It's hard to characterize the idea of soul into a definition. That makes sense, because I think the soul is so much bigger than just words. But that's kind of the idea of what our soul is. And I've really come to believe that our soul has a way of drawing into us what we need, and that the way that we really listen to the voice of our soul is through our intuition. And we listen to our intuition through our heart.

So when we're working with our heart, and we are working with our, our intuitive self, and we're working with our nonlinear self and our process oriented self, we are more likely to be listening to the voice of our soul. And oftentimes with the voice of our soul, what we will find is that when we tune into those more intuitive processes, and tune into a more soulful process, we are told to trust, and we are told, just take the next right step, just show up today just do what's right for you.

So we work with these multiple processes that are all intersecting and connecting and interacting together, then their spirits process, and God's timing, divine timing, and all of that. And what spirit knows is best for us and what spirit can see coming and sometimes moves us around something or doesn't allow something to happen.

And it's a form of protection. I'm so grateful now, that some of those publication things that I really hope to establish for myself earlier on when I got over here did not work out as I thought they would.

Because what it allowed me to do is really stay in this creative space of knowing my own voice and being able to write about the things that are on my heart to write about in my own way, without having to shape them for an editorial or specific publication.

There are multiple things that I have not gotten creatively that I really, really had hoped for. And one of the gifts that I come to see in that is that I get to be at a point where I don't have somebody else telling me this is the format that you need to do in order to fit our guidelines. There's nothing wrong with that, there's a lot to be said for those things.

But for me that peace of having creative autonomy, and being able to still have the freedom of choice to really use my voice without also thinking about how a target audience is going to attach to it. So it comes from a more pure place of what my heart says like this is what you need to write about. Now. This is what you're meant to share. That's a gift. You know, that is such such a gift.

So oftentimes, how we thought it was going to look what we wanted when we wanted it in the timing that we expected when it doesn't go our way. Oftentimes, spirit stepped in, and it's like no, not for you. And someday you'll understand. And we know it's really hard not to get what she thought you wanted. But trust us like something better is coming.

So we have to understand that process oriented living really is about trusting these multiple cycles. And I love cyclical living, I love being in tune with those cycles, I feel like the more I understand some of the cycles going on around me, the more it helps me have a context sometimes for how to best navigate my own journey.

And we're actually talking about cyclical living next week. So we will be diving into that more and diving more into living intuitively and kind of talking about some of those principles and concepts.

[38:57] Make Friends With Uncomfortable Feeling States

But for today, the next principle that I want to talk about is the idea of making friends, uncomfortable feeling states, I originally had wrote down make friends with uncertainty, but I was like, you know, it's not just uncertainty.

When we're in a space of not knowing how life is going to look, we don't just have to make friends with uncertainty. Think we have to make friends with our fears. We have to make friends with our anxiety. We have to find a way to not be afraid of those tricky feeling states and to work with them constructively instead of resisting them because probably the more we resist them, one of two things is going to happen.

One, we are going to be tempted to try and seize control, because we're so uncomfortable. So we do something to try and self regulate. And we do something like it's not a heart driven choice. It's a I'm gonna go out and I laughs This relationship. I don't like being single. It's really uncomfortable. I was with somebody a long time. And maybe if we're not listening to our heart, and we don't like being uncomfortable, maybe we fall into something, and it's the next thing that comes along. And maybe it's not really for us.

But if so uncomfortable, like sitting with the discomfort that the person falls into that anyways, and is like, I can't be alone, you know, so here's this thing. And maybe it's not really right for them long term, certainly, there's lessons to learn there, like spirit never judges us. And it's like, oh, no, you got it wrong, you're off the track now, like, no chances left. Like, that's not really what it's about.

But if we're making a choice out of fear, as opposed to trying to control or trying to make things feel normal, again, that's probably not a soulful, heart driven, like intuitive based choice. And so it's probably going to lead us into what I think of as kind of a sight aside reality. You know, let me tell you how this works.

[41:03] Walking The Path of Authenticity and Soul Growth

In my mind, I often see this path that I'm on. And on this path I'm moving towards, I don't know, sort of this pulsating light. And that light represents many things. It represents staying true to my journey. It represents my spiritual connection. It represents my purpose and the work that I really came here to do. And as I'm walking on this path, there's many, many doors on the side that I can step into. And they're not bad doors, they're just different doors. And those doors will lead me to different experiences and different.

When I say reality, I'm actually like not talking about some alternate dimension and multiple timelines and multiverses or anything like that. It just means that I'm creating something new in my current reality that maybe didn't exist before. Because I chose to walk through the store and see, like, what's this relationship about?

Or what happens if I do this. And now I've introduced something new into what I'm working with. And sometimes I might camp out in those spaces for a while, and great things happen. And I got what I needed to get. And I kind of say, All right, I'm going to take that with me and keep moving on my journey. That was enough for now.

Sometimes, I find things there that I'm like, this is something I meant to take with me and I will be back like I will come back into the store again, because there's good things to find here. And I'm going to integrate what I need to carry with me and I'm going to come back and other times, what I'll often find is that I'll think something is for me.

And then after a while I'll kind of run into a wall or limitation where I'm just not able to expand or grow anymore. And I start to feel like I'm getting knocked off my course of my truest self and knocked off the course of my path. And I'll start to feel like I'm not I'm losing kind of that soulful voice that juiciness inside of me. And I'll feel disconnected.

And this has happened before with things that I've tried happened with a coaching program that I once tried, that I kind of dove into, and I smacked into a wall at the end. It has happened with relationships in the past, it's happened with different experiences that I've had. And so that's what I mean, when I say we kind of create this new reality.

And sometimes what happens if we stay in it for too long, and we're just can't grow there. And we keep trying to change ourselves to fit the relationship or to fit the role or to fit whatever it is that we tried to structure and our life, we start to feel disconnected from that big pulsating light that I was talking about that we each have on our path, that voice of the soul that we're moving towards that deepening of our relationship with our soulful self and with Spirit and with our life purpose.

And so I often think what happens is if we are trying to avoid those uncomfortable feelings, we kind of wander off the path into a room and we might end up staying too long and it might not really be for us and we really block out our more soulful voice.


And I think sometimes the other thing that can happen when we do that outside of seizing control is that we miss this opportunity to really learn to constructively work with Shadow kinds of energies inside of ourselves and realize we don't have to be afraid of them.

We do not have to worry that if we feel fearful or anxious or emotionally dysregulated that somehow we're losing it that we can learn to map out those feeling states and say I hate feeling like this. It feels really uncomfortable for me. I don't like feeling lost.

That's one a feeling state I've had quite a bit over the last six yours I don't really like feeling lost, I felt lost quite a bit. Like I'm wandering, and sort of doing that not all who wander are lost, sort of, you know, kind of thing I had been there when I got divorced, it's not my first time where I've been like the last wonder it's not a great feeling. And at this point in my life, I'm like, I've had enough of that I'm ready to feel a little bit more found. But I have learned, I don't need to be afraid of that.

Because I'll always find my way out of feeling lost, if I can stay with my process and get into my heart and get into my spiritual connection. Like, that doesn't have to be scary. If I feel out of sorts, I don't need to be afraid if I feel like I get into a space of sadness, or feeling really down or feeling really confused or falling into self doubt.

Those can be difficult companions that I say, hey, here you are, again, what got Preston in my life that you've showed up at my doorstep. And Rumi wrote that beautiful poem, The guesthouse, where he talks about, like, just inviting all of it in, like, whatever shows up inviting all those feelings into your guesthouse itself. And really seeing that they all have something to teach.

And I've talked on here before about the idea of internal family systems, we can think of it psychologically, as parts work, and all those parts of ourselves, have something to teach us, they all have something to say.

So there's always something to learn. And we don't have to be afraid of it. There's so much wisdom to be found, when we can constructively work with those states, and learn how to make friends with them and hold space for those parts of ourselves and realize they're just part of our whole, they're not the whole of who we are. And something I feel that is super helpful with all of this.

Another principle that I wrote down is the importance of creating grounding rituals and perspectives.

So when we are talking about feeling, kind of wandering in this void of being between worlds, really, if we're in the void, something's ended. And we're not quite sure what we're stepping into. And that can be something like I said earlier, that can be something more material like a job or relocation or relationship, something in your physical life.

That can also be something that is happening internally, where it's more of an identity thing, or outgrowing an old way of self and needing to become something new. Anything that makes you feel like you are in the cocoon, and you're like not the caterpillar, definitely not the butterfly flap and free with those beautiful new wings.

But you're in this like nappy line and this void and you're having a hard time trusting it. That's really what we're talking about with the wild unknown. It's this like very rich, fertile, divine feminine ground of creativity and creation and birth, it is going through like a metaphorical death of something and kind of walking this black trail walking in the darkness.

And we have to learn to trust this invisible trail of lights, that leads us through and that trail of lights is really trusting our hearts, it's trusting love, it's trusting our spiritual connection, it's trusting our soul. That's what the unknown is all about. And since it is disorienting, and psychologically, that can be very hard on us, it can be very hard on our mental status or emotional health, we can get triggered with feeling states, and emotional dysregulation like anxiety and depression.

[48:40] The Importance of Grounding Rituals

So because of that, I think that's when it's really helpful to have grounding rituals and perspectives. And that could be affirmation, like, the universe has my back spirit has my back. You know, I can trust the love to lead me through.

It might be getting books on people who write about transformation and change and ideas around what we're talking about today that feel encouraging to you and give you tools and perspectives that might be anchoring yourself through nature, when going to the same places in nature.

I've talked quite a bit on here about using nature's an anchor for myself and creating these like sacred spaces in nature during different times of transition in my life.

And I for sure did that. The first few years on the island there was this little mountain called Sleeping Giant that I used to go to all the time. And for a while I was going like four or five times a week I think, you know, at least maybe three or four times a week and that was my anchor and if I didn't know what else to do with myself, we'll go climb Sleeping Giant, you know, because I knew that I would feel better.

After I came off of it. It was just hard enough to feel like I made myself move but not so hard that it was taxing and I really became friends with Have the land and friends with that mountain over time doing it. So we create something that feels grounding, we create little rituals are a way that we can anchor ourselves.

Maybe we get support and talk to somebody who is a therapist or a spiritual coach, or somebody that is a trusted someone. That gives us a sense of perspective. There's many, many ideas here.

But I want to be mindful that when we're talking about embracing a lack of structure and our life and being in a space of allowing things to reform and to reinvent, that there is, I guess the imbalanced side of that is feeling so ungrounded that we really struggle to anchor ourselves and we feel despair, or we just feel like we're not going to get it, or we feel completely lost, or we have a hard time our nervous system doesn't regulate well.

And so finding that balance for you, where you find helpful constructive ways to like, affirm, to anchor to get support, while still embracing the path. Like that's not like a cut and dried, here's five steps to doing it. We all have to play with that a little bit and figure out what's right for us. But it is important. Grounding is important.

And we can always ground into love, we can always put our hand on our heart. And we can always say I feel really lost right now help me know what I need to know today. I got through the summer of 2019. By doing that quite a bit that was another like chapter of feeling lost in the wild, unknown of Hawaii.

And not knowing what I was doing with my life. I remember really vividly that summer I really kind of thought, oh my god, I messed up, you know, like, I totally got it wrong. And I went through this freakout of really feeling like I had released all the things that had given me kind of, I guess the trappings of my adult life, you know, things being like, Oh, well, I'm in my 40s. And I own a home and I have a practice and I've got, you know, a savings and like these things that I had in Alaska, I didn't have any of them anymore.

So I started to have this freak out about being like, oh my gosh, like I fail on my adult card. And just a lot of fear around finances around security, a lot of fear around work, and just a lot of confusion over what was going to be next for me. And I remember that summer, really coming into my heart a lot coming into my spiritual connection. I'm pretty sure that was one of those times that if you've ever like relied on Oracle or tarot cards a lot, and you end up doing like five readings in a day.

And you'll keep coming back to the cards has it changed since I did this an hour ago, like that was me that summer. But I did do quite a bit of praying, I was on my heart quite a bit. And I really learned that if I listened to my heart, it was like chill out girl, like you are fine. Like you are on track, things are still coming your way. Like nothing's been like given up or lost here.

Like it is all good. You just need to trust right now and stop looking at all the buzz and chatter going on around you and like really come into your inner world into your divine feminine wisdom inside of you, and really trust and just allow life to happen.

[53:31] Be Fluid Not Fixed

Alright, the last point that I wrote down, all of this ties so beautifully together. But this last one I just wrote down be fluid not fixed. And this is actually a lesson for life.
I think it's a lesson for working with energy. It is a lesson when we are on the spiritual path for understanding that. Not a lot of things in life are fixed. And even the things that we think are fixed aren't always fixed. The unexpected happens all the time.

Even the things we think we can predict, can often have variables and unpredictability. But I do think if we are mindfully moving into new territory, and we are doing something like starting a new venture, a new relationship, we've left something behind. We've lost someone any of those I examples that we've been talking about today. Maybe you have your own, that I didn't mention, I'm sure some of you do.

Anytime we're talking about those things, we want to think about being really fluid and kind of dancing with life. And knowing that sometimes we ride the energy of life. Sometimes we are actively trying to help direct that energy.

Other times you're receiving the energy, we want to be fluid and the path itself is fluid. I've spoken before about how when I asked the question like how does it run really work? Which is a big question I just meant, like all of it was a bigger question that I was going to get an answer to. And that bigger question than really my consciousness, I think, can can hold in this this form of BethAnne.


But, you know, one of the things that came through when I asked that question, it was kind of driven by like, why is it that we'll be SO CONVINCED something is right for us? And then it doesn't work out? And is it like was that our ego, you know, did we try and make something happen, and we were just wrong on the guidance, could spirit get it wrong, like what was going on.

And I saw this beautiful kind of moving mass of different energies. And the way that it came through in my mind is almost like energetic balls of yarn. If there was like all these different balls of yarn that were like knitting and weaving and relieving, and some of the strands might suddenly break or get cut off, except a new one would come in, which is pick up that weaning, and it would start intertwining are ones that we thought had were cut off, and they're just kind of dangling out there in the cosmos, somehow get picked back up and woven and, and I saw all of it still moving in a direction that is moving each of us towards our highest good.

And the idea behind these multiple readings was really encompassing, there are so many cycles, so many energies, so many soul paths, so many soul contracts, so many things being woven together, and re woven and re navigated and rethreaded, like all at once.

And when we are trusting the divine, and trusting that what needs to be woven will be what doesn't will dissolve. If we had a big attachment to something, we can know that either something better is coming, or it's going to be woven into new form.

And it might be even better. And we can trust this idea that nothing is wasted, that everything is recycled or upcycled or transformed or transmuted.

And when we can find that paradigm shift, this is really not a perspective we're talking about. It's more shifting this paradigm of how we understand the process of life, how we understand energy, how we understand spirit.

But when we're working from that fluid paradigm, we can know that even when we feel lost, even if we feel like we've missed something, the next thing is coming along. And it will be if not equal better than equally aligned, maybe what we thought we wanted will no longer be aligned with us by the time the conditions are right for it to manifest. And so something else comes along entirely.

When we are able to know that nothing is wasted, nothing is wasted. It is all somehow alchemize to create what each of us needs for the highest good of our path. So you don't have to worry about too many choices, or that you're going to choose the wrong way or that you wandered off that path I was talking about and stepped into a side door, and you've gotten off base and you've been in this place too long. Ultimately, nothing's wasted.

When you surrender it and say like ultimately, like my times are in your hands, your hands being like the universe, the mysteries, spirit, your Higher Self, God all of it. When we surrender to that and surrender to that greater process, we can know that there are no wrong turns, just different choices and different experiences.

And now all of that can be woven, and collage together to still bring us in the direction that is going to serve our highest good. And we can always trust that and bringing it back around to this idea of no matter what else, just trust what's in your heart, trust the love, if you can look for the love and a situation.

Because the best thing I ever heard from somebody when she was a client I had years ago, really, really beautiful woman I think had more of like a Catholic background, but just had this beautiful faith. And she went said if anybody has a problem with the word God, I just tell them replace God with love.

You know, and you can think about the Divine is love. I just love that. Like it really spoke to me with where I was at on my journey at the time. And those words resonated for my heart. But really the Divine is love.

So if all we do in any situation in our life is think well what does love have to teach me in this? What am I learning about self love or loving somebody else? What am I learning about the million faces that love has, and we look for that lesson of love. We're always on the path.

We always find our way back in a heartbeat. It's like love is like the secret door and the labyrinth of life where we kind of can get lost When mixed up and confused, love is the door that will take us back to I don't know if it takes us back to start, but it like takes us back on track whatever track that on track is it takes us back there instantly, instantly takes us back there.

So find the love. And if that's all you do, you are gold.

[1:00:20] Coming Up Next Week

All right. I think that's a great place to end gold stars for everybody. Today. We are talking next week about living cyclically. And this idea of understanding cycles. And I'm hoping to talk a little bit more to about the nodes are shifting. The moon nodes are shifting this month astrologically into new signs. And the Akashic Records had quite a bit to say about the month of July, which is when I'm on this podcast will originally be airing a lot to say about a new cycle happening this month. 

So I'm hoping to tap into that energy a little bit more, and bring that into the next podcast and talk about how can we understand what it means to live cyclically? How can we understand working with cycles in a constructive way? I think oftentimes, we are ready for a new cycle and our life and we struggle if we feel like echoes of an old cycle are still with us. And we're like, no, no, I just want the good stuff. 

Now I've had the bad cycle, I want the good energy. But we're going to talk just a little bit more about perspective to understand all that and talk a little bit to about what the Akashic records might have to say about understanding energetic cycles and how we can work with them. 

So that they support us and we feel in alignment with what's happening so quickly. So that is coming up next week. 

Thank you so much for joining me today. And until next time, be well. Be Love, be you and be magic