Below is a transcript of the episode as generated by Otter.ai. (*please note, this transcript has only been edited to put in line breaks for easier readability and may contain errors where a word or phrase got lost in transcription.)

[0:35] Introduction to Episode and The Tarot

Aloha everybody. Welcome to Your Heart magic. This is Dr. BethAnne Kapansky Wright. And today we are starting a new series called archetypes of the Tarot. And we are going to be going through the different archetypes and the Major Arcana of the Tarot deck and exploring what each of them means.

Now, this is definitely archetypes with a twist. My focus for feeling inspired to do this was less about, here's what you need to understand in order to work with the Tarot. And it was more about using that. Because there's like such a rich history behind it.

It was just using that as a way to explore what are some of the most various archetypes and are the most common archetypes? And how can we understand those and work with those energies in our life to feel more inspired to have a better understanding of ourselves and to maybe just understand the collective kind of history and narrative of some of these concepts and symbols that have been around for centuries and centuries.

This is also going to be a topic that I do not weekly it'll be every other week or every few weeks, I haven't quite decided yet. But today we are kicking it off with the fool. And then call this podcast episode faith of a fool because that really sums up the quintessential journey of the archetype of the fool. In the Tarot deck.

It's really about this idea of making leaps of faith and beginning something with a sense of faith. And not always knowing exactly where we're going when we start something new, but having something inside of us this hope, and this beginner's optimism and a sense of adventure that says I don't need to know where to go, or where I'm going in order to start this experience and see where this adventure takes me. So we are talking about the full today.

[2:54] What is An Archetype?

And before we fully dive into that, I wanted to just briefly touch base on like what is an archetype? Many of us have heard of that word and some shape or form. And there's many definitions out there. But in the simplest form an archetype is like the original kind of the original symbol the original example of something that everything else is modeled after an archetype is some kind of recurrent symbol that has created this like model or representation that other things seek to embody or to emulate.

So an archetype of, we'll say like the fairy godmother archetype. Now that didn't come from Cinderella. There are many many many examples and mythology and history and stories and narratives of the fairy godmother, but when I hear Fairy Godmother right now, I My mind went to Cinderella. I just kind of pulled this out of thin air as an example.

But and I think about like the fairy godmother coming along and zapping Cinderella and bringing her to bringing her wish to life where she's able to be beautiful and go to the ball and go see the prints and you know, she moves her wand and just creates magic out of it. And that is a representation of what a fairy godmother is.

And I have a feeling that if I were to trace that archetype back to history and actually do a study on the symbolism and the representation of that and look at like what's the first Fairy Godmother references and mythology or history that there would be some basis some prototype for some kind of kind of grandmother, godmother type woman who has these like otherworldly magical powers and is able to, you know, grant a A mortal person, a normal person, something kind of extraordinary in order to help them achieve whatever their challenge or their quest or whatever it is, and our understanding of a fairy godmother. When I said that word, I'm assuming that everybody listening automatically probably thought of something. Maybe it was Cinderella, maybe it was something else.

That's an example of an archetype. It is this idea, this symbol that the fairy godmother represents kind of this magical being this magical woman, she is good. She is on the side of the protagonist of the individual. She's not a, you know, negative influence. That's a different kind of archetype. She's not like the bad witch. She's like Glenda, the Goodwitch. And she has these abilities to kind of grant this person and make their wish or make their dreams happen or assist them on their journey in some shape or form.

So archetypes are really kind of this interesting idea that somewhere along the way, there had to be an original prototype of these ideas. And as mythology and symbolism and stories and various culture spins out, there becomes this richer tapestry woven of all these collections of stories that all point to the same kinds of patterns and themes and characteristics. And whatever our archetype is, archetypes, the way that I think about them is, if you were to take every story ever written about fairy godmothers, and you know, these days, technology is scary, remarkable.

Let's say we punched all of those into some AI or some great processor that kind of narrowed it all of those out and asked to to spit out a definition of based on all of this collection of rich literature. What does this mean? What would come out would be this definition that was representative of not only the archetype and the original intention behind it. But sometimes archetypes take on a meaning and a life of their own as culture changes and grows, and our understanding of them grows.

So what's fun about working with the archetypes in the tarot deck is Taro has been around for a long time. And I didn't do my research on this before hopping on the podcast to give a little mini dissertation on when the Tarot was first invented. You know, it can be traced back to times in court, and playing cards and things like if you actually look at the history of it, and it can be traced back to Europe. I think there's even ideas around that it might have been in other cultures before that in different forms.

So it has a rich history if you ever want to fall down the rabbit hole of looking that up. But over the years, there has been a very interesting proliferation of various kinds of decks, and all of them will have their interpretation of what these cards are in the deck.

[8:14] The Journey of The Fool

And in the traditional tarot deck, it begins with the fool. And the fool is this representative of the kind of naive, optimistic young person who decides to strike out on an adventure and if you're not familiar with the taro, the fool's adventure is really meeting all these different characters along the way, who all have some kind of lesson or something to teach him. And as he meets these characters, he goes through this journey of learning about these various aspects of life, these various experiences and various facets of the human journey.

So the journey of the fool is really a reflection in some ways of our journey as a human being. In some ways, we are all the fool and this experience of being a human is very much the Fool's Journey. Where we are running into all these interesting characters, we are having some interesting adventures and intriguing adventure, some of them we like better than others, we often have choices to make and hard choices.

As we have these experiences. We often learn about the shadow side and the light side of an experience. Not anything is really all good or all bad, at least in our experience as humans, we experienced the good qualities and something we also can experience the challenges in the shadow side of things.

And so when we are working with the cards and the Tarot deck and the Major Arcana, every card has its light side and it's good side and then it also has a shadow side to it when qualities aren't well integrated, or they're not taken into the context of the whole. So we're going to be looking at a little bit of all of that, like what are the good qualities with a fool? What might be the shadow qualities? How do we work with these things? And how do we understand this archetype in order to feel more empowered on our human journey?

Just off the top of my head, I actually wrote down a list of how archetypes are helpful in day to day life. I love working with symbols. I love working with the Tarot deck different oracle cards. I love the angels a lot of times spiritually, our connection, our spiritual connection, we receive a lot of signs and symbols from the world around us.

Numbers can be symbols, animals can be symbols, we can see hearts. In the clouds find heart rocks, a lot of times, if somebody's had a loved one passed, it is not uncommon for them to see like a heart cloud or see hearts everywhere or find a stone that shaped like a rock. And what does a heart mean? It means love.

Most of us have a universal understanding that a heart is a symbol of the archetype of love. And when we see that symbol, and it intersects with our journey in a way that feels personal and meaningful, we feel that we have received some form of communication from our spiritual connection. And most often we have, if something feels meaningful, usually it is meaningful.

So there are all these ways that understanding this rich language assembles can enhance our lives. And as somebody who is a writer, and a psychologist, I'm really creative. I love art. I'm just very interested and the idea of collective wisdom behind these archetypes in these symbols, and it's fascinating to me, and the first time that I was ever introduced to a tarot deck. Some people say tarot, I think that is probably more the correct pronunciation. But I think a lot of times we bring it to an English Taro. So I tend to say it that way. But either one, and my understanding is correct to say.

[12:29] Dr. BethAnne's Journey With The Tarot

But the first time that I was introduced to it, it was really a friend who knew somebody who did readings. And I just thought, oh, my gosh, that sounds so cool. I was on my spiritual journey at the time, and just really opening up to this idea that there's many ways that the universe can speak to us.

And I was intrigued by this idea that cards and readings and sort of these mysteries around that might be able to help reveal something about my life, I definitely had a little bit of that mystical sense of it, because I didn't know anything about it. And so it was sort of this idea of, oh, my gosh, somebody can take these cards and know things about me that, I don't know, you know, and it was kind of very magical to me. And I think there's still some of those qualities and it but as somebody who's worked with them for a long time now, I think the most accurate thing I can say is they reflect back experiences in our life.

And the cards themselves reflect back meanings and ideas around what we might be experiencing. And it does seem like something alchemical and slightly magical happens that often, if we're doing a reading with an open heart and purity of intent, somehow the cards might tell us a story that deeply resonates with exactly what we're experiencing at that time. And that is what I began to find when I began to work with them. I was not able to connect with this person who could do these readings through this friend who told me about them. And I got impatient.

And so one day I went into Metro books in Anchorage, Alaska and Benson Boulevard. I don't know if it's there anymore, but it was at the time. And I walked around and I found the I think they were in like the New Age section or something. And so I found these tarot cards. And they only had like two or three choices to choose from, they didn't have a big selection. And so I kind of looked at all the ones that were available and one of them like just felt not good to me. It just did not feel like what I wanted to work with. I didn't get a good sense of energy off of it. And I was like, not that one and this other one felt very light and it felt very bright.

And it was I think the mythological taro it's all based on Greek myth. I knew nothing about any of this. I don't even know what to choose. But I was like, Well, I like Greek mythology. And, you know, I like the pictures that I see on the box. And most importantly, it felt good. In my hand, when I held it, it felt good on an energetic level.

And I remember going home that evening and kind of opening this up, I think I felt like a kid in a movie, like opening up the book to the never ending story, like I was the little kid who's reading about, I think it's a tray, who, you know, in his horse, or whatever, and I was like tapping into something that was bigger than just myself. And isn't that what a collection of archetypes is? It's this history, this richness, this collective well of wisdom that is bigger than what I currently possessed in that moment. And I knew I was holding these keys that were going to help me maybe tap into something bigger.

And I began to like flip through the jack. And I remember really well, the card that really stood out to me, there were two of them in that particular deck as I went through them. The first card was temperance, and the way it was represented in that Jack, and then the second card was the star. And so those are the two that as I was going through, I kind of laid out and I was like, I don't know what these cards mean. But these pictures speak to me the most.

And then I picked up the guidebook, and I read about what they meant. And those are still two of my very favorite cards years later, no matter what deck I'm working with. And after that is when I began to read and I began to see that the more I studied it, the more the cards took on meaning I soon felt really inspired to purchase other decks and ones that like really resonated with me, even more than the original one that I got.

And somewhere along the way, I started doing readings for other people. And they would be like, Oh my gosh, it's like the cards just No, somehow. I think the cards reflect back on the most basic level universal truths that we can relate to no matter where we're out on the journey. We want to look at it at a very kind of mundane way, and let somebody was a skeptic, that might be where they would stop and say, Okay, I don't know if I believe the rest of it. But I can see where this would reflect back a universal truth. And that I might relate to it.

If you want to take it a little bit more transcendent, and why wouldn't we? You know, I really think that when I'm working with them, sometimes I will really put the intention and be like I need guidance right now. And I'm having a hard time tapping into it and my own intuition. I'm really cloudy on this issue. So please help me have the cards that most speak to this situation.

And I have really developed a practice over the years, where there are so many things that working with different kinds of cards has helped me tap into guidance and wisdom and resonance and really clear the cobwebs and the the pollution I guess, when I can't get out of the way of myself and just hear the truth, and really get to the heart of the matter. So I love love, love this as a practice. I'm super happy to be talking about it today.

[18:22] How Archetypes Help Us On Our Journey

But just a few ideas that on how archetypes can help us is one, they help us tap into an actualized aspects of ourself, I often will think about if I need to do something that is a little bit outside, it's a little bit of a stretch for me.

I don't love having to confront somebody or make a phone call or certain things I can do no problem on like if I'm exercising in a professional capacity, but maybe something's really challenging for me. And like on here I shared a little while ago about how we had to go into court for this silly leash citation where our dog was off leash during a horrible dog attack that could have been deadly to us.

And we ended up getting slapped with a lease citation. You know from this vengeful hunter who reported us after we reported the fact that his dogs attacked us and our dog and so we had to go into court that day. And I had to tap into the archetype of justice. I actually pulled the Justice tarot card when we had the citation in hand and I like you know, did a card reading for the citation and that was the card that came out it was justice and that card is about balance and equity and the right thing happening and for about a month before we had to go into court I just had this like written citation laying on my desk with this card justice on it and like a crystal by it that a wonderful friend had given me and I just like was like I'm just put And that energy into that day.

And when we went into court, that was my priority just let justice happen. It did if anybody paid or listened to that podcast and you don't know the ending of that story, we didn't even have to talk to the judge, we were on a list of cases that were dismissed with out with prejudice or without prejudice without prejudice. And so we were in and out of the courthouse and length 10 minutes, and it was about as fair as you can get outside of having to go in the first place.

So I channel will say the archetype of justice for that situation. And that really helped me find a sense of inner peace and a sense of strength and a sense of kind of tapping into a greater belief that the universe would help right what felt like a real wrong that was done to us. They can help us better understand the nature of the relationships in our life, it is helpful to sometimes understand archetypes, whether it's the Tarot, or astrological archetypes, not in a way to pigeonhole or put people in a box.

But it can be very helpful to say something like, oh, they have a lot of like Capricorn, Emperor energy, they're a very organized person, they really like structure, you know, sometimes those things and having a sense of different personality types. And that's another way to think about tarot and archetypes, like personality test.

And each of these archetypes is kind of the equivalent of some of the personality types that are out there. A lot of people are super super into those things, whether it's a psychological tests, like the Myers Briggs, or whether it's more like the human design stuff. And some of those, we're just really fascinated by them.

Because it's really interesting to think that there are the sort of collective umbrellas of types of people and personalities that we fall under, and maybe the people in our lives fall under. And if we can better understand that maybe we can better understand them.

Understanding archetypes helps us to develop a vocabulary that is richer with symbols and collective concepts. When I opened my first tarot deck that day, I was really stepping into a deeper world of signs, of symbols of languages. Over the years, I as I said, I've gotten a lot of different decks, I have a really fun book that I found at this like us library called tidal wave books in Anchorage years ago, and it's about the taro. And I don't have it in front of me, I just tell you who wrote it, I'll bring it out some time, I don't even know if it's available anymore.

But it's got like this history of the cards and like, all these connections to different religious texts, to the Kabbalah to numerology, to all these things I've never read or found anywhere else. And you know, so all of that is the language of signs and symbols. It's like the archeology of soul, and the archeology of some of the spiritual symbols that many of us have lost touch with. And this can help us grow that.

[23:15] How Archetypes Reflect Back Aspects of Ourselves

Understanding the archetypes helps us be more effective at working with the Tarot if you choose to do so. And that feels right for you. And I think that it also can help us understand the various phases on our own life journey. In my writing, it's interesting throughout the years, when I look at poems I've written in books I've written in essays I've written, the cards are in there. And they come through in the subtle ways, sometimes, like the title of the card is actually in something like I have a poem that was called the faith of a fool.

And another one that I wrote called The Empress. And sometimes they are referenced in some of the writing, and, you know, referenced in various capacities, depending on where I was at in life. And sometimes I can just look at something and see, oh, that was the face, where I was learning how to be like the High Priestess, or I was really going through that phase where I was learning about, you know, whatever, whatever it is, justice, so our strength and our strength, that's a card as well. So they are interwoven throughout all of that.

And they are a way to help us organize our experience itself. And if we don't have a way to understand ourselves, to organize ourselves, to think about ourselves, like our understanding of ourselves, is as rich and varied as the constructs that we use to build our understanding of self on. So if we have limited ways that we think about ourselves, sometimes that gets in the way if we're going through expansion, and one of the reasons that we educate ourselves.

And we do things like listen to podcast and read books, and tap into others wisdoms, and their presentations of ideas and thought is because it helps enhance our understanding of those things. And when we are going through a shift or a phase in our life, and we're able to put words to it, or to see it reflected in something, we don't always understand the value of that until we haven't had it.

And all of a sudden, we do, I can't tell you how many times I have maybe done some client work. And they've maybe shared something, and I've reflected back, here's what I hear. And gosh, that sounds like this. And sometimes when we're going through, like, let's say they're going through grief, sometimes when we're going through grief, this is something that some people might experience.

And they'll might they might say, oh my gosh, like, that's just it. That's so that's exactly what I've been feeling. And nobody in my life gets it. They just haven't been through it themselves, and they don't understand loss. And I've been so confused why I'm feeling this way. And that really helped me understand myself. That is valuable.

When we see ourselves in a story when we hear ourselves in a song. It's why certain songs resonate with us. Some of it's the musicality, and what the music does, and how it like stirs our soul. Sometimes it's the words. And if you've ever listened to like the same words over and over and be like, Oh, my gosh, I love this part, you know, or use a song to process a breakup or a loss or just to be really happy. They put into language and experience that we might not always have the construct for.

So when we do archetype work and Tarot work, it helps give us like a deeper language to understanding our own journey. And I feel the better we understand ourselves and keep staying open to discovering and growing ourselves, the more that we are able to expand and we can show up in the world and a much more powerful way. So that was my little plug for why do we want like, Why do archetypes even matter? You know, that was just an off the cuff list. Some things I wrote down have how they help us in our life. So let's dive into the full a little bit more today.

[27:29] Faith of A Fool: We Are All On This Journey

I started to earlier and I'm gonna loop back to what I said, in many ways, we are all on the fool's journey throughout our entire life. We are on this journey of moving through this experience as a human being. And we don't have an instruction manual. We actually don't really know what we're doing, we hope to figure it out along the way. We meet a strange cast of characters, from many walks of life, we have many choices to make, and many challenging lessons to learn, and a lot of wisdom that we are asked to integrate during that time.

And whether or not we relate to the word fool. It's actually like, I think one of my very favorite cards in the deck outside of the star and temperance. I really like many of them. But I love getting the full because to me, when I see it, it always means I have that like fresh, vital optimism, where I'm swinging my knapsack on my back, and I'm like, let's have an adventure. Let's leap off this cliff.

And instead of always being so concerned about where am I going to land, what's going to happen? I'm just going to take a leap. I think that the full energy is a little bit easier for many to embody when we are younger, because it suits that life stage a little bit more. When you think about this idea of like backpacking through Europe, or having like fresh, useful optimism. A lot of people might think about being on the cusp of young adulthood, where you are like 17 1819 You still have like the whole world before you the world is your oyster. And you are setting off on this grand adventure. It's not uncommon for a high school graduation for people to at least in my high school graduation.

A lot of people got a copy of the book, Dr. Seuss's book, Oh, the Places You'll Go, you know, and it's sort of like today is your day you're starting a new adventure. So get on your way. And it's like this whole Riney children's book about, Oh, the places you'll go in life and the great adventures that you'll have. That's the full energy. It is really beautiful, beautiful energy.

And I think that in many ways, it does not. We don't have to be young to have that energy in our life. It can be just a little bit easier to relate to it. Because as we go on this journey, of humanising. Oftentimes, we start to collect experiences where we become a little less optimistic, we might feel a little bit more jaded or a little bit more cynical, sometimes we lose our sense of optimism and hope.

And the fool is really here to remind us that no matter how much we know, and how much our hope gets kind of chafed by part experiences that we might have, that we can dip into that collective well at any time and re energize that sense of finding sort of that Sunny, optimistic fool inside of ourselves. When life is calling us on a new adventure.
The Fool is Bilbo Baggins rushing out his front door when Gandalf ropes him into the hobbits in the original Hobbit book and roped him into this or sorry, rebsamen with the dwarves and rebsamen on this big adventure to go to the mountain and go find this dragon. And he has no idea what he's doing.

That is the archetype of the fool and literature, I love that archetype. I relate to this archetype, when I made the decision to move to Hawaii and kind of closed down life in Alaska and just leap off this cliff, and not know where it was going to take me. And I've often said, if I knew now, or knew, then what I know, now, I don't know that I would have done it, I would have said it is too hard, you're going to have too many twists and turns, I vastly underestimated the amount of challenge and hardship that I would encounter.

And some of that was a reflection, of just moving and starting over, some of that is reflection of going from sort of this one extreme place, Alaska to this other extreme place, polar opposite Hawaii, some of it is reflection of trying to reinvent my career, and grow myself, my writing my speaking and really grow my spiritual practices and my spiritual offerings. And some of that, too, is just a reflection, I think of my life stage. And challenges that I probably on a soul level said, I'm going to sign up to work with these particular challenges. And some of that is reflection of our world.

And the fact that I came to this island in 2017. And our world has changed a lot since even that time, so many things, through these challenges in the way. And if I had known now, when I are knowing then what I know now, I might have told myself don't do it, this is going to be really hard on you. And yet, I'm so glad I didn't know then what I know now, because I wouldn't have done it.

And I would have made Safer Choices. And despite the fact that there's been a lot of challenges on my personal journey, there's also been so much beauty, and so much joy and so much wisdom and so many life lessons that were hard earned. And that I don't think there was any way to experience them or to grow in that wisdom to grow on that spiritual knowledge to grow as a human without just going through them and having to learn about them as I experienced them.

[33:25] How The Fool Can Inspire Our Growth

So I'm so glad that I took a leap. And I didn't think about where will I land and what will look like and didn't put a lot of planning into it. That is the wisdom of the fool. And I think that when we can tap into that energy, it can inspire us to say yes, a little bit more. It can inspire us to ask ourselves the question. Is it okay to throw caution to the wind a little bit more on this, especially if it lights my heart up? You know, can I just try something new here? Can I do something new? I think that it helps us engage with life is more of an adventure.

If I look at the last few years from a different perspective of the archetype, like we'll go with like the Emperor energy, which we'll get to when we get to the Emperor that's I don't know about four cards down the line. I would probably assess the last few years differently than I would from the perspective of the fool.

The emperor would say there was a lot of messes made and a lot that had to be cleaned up and restructured and reorganized and new systems that needed to be put into place. Now all of that is true. It was messy. I did a lot of reordering and restructuring in my own life which intersected with the world reordering and restructuring itself. It's not a super fun interpretation, though to look at it.

Through Emperor energy, the fool would say, quite an adventure. That was, Wow, I can't believe some of the things that happened, the fool would say that all experiences are worth having, and that they are all worth just being part of our collection of experiences.

The Fool in many ways, and the fullest naivete, and optimism is also one of the most intelligent cards and the deck. Because the fool knows how to return to a beginner's mind. And look at something with fresh eyes, the fool knows how to forget what we think we know. And become what we've already became.

And learn to reinvent ourselves and become something new and approach something with fresh eyes and a joyful heart. And some form of youthful optimism regardless of where our biological age is, and what life faiths are in. There's wisdom in that there is wisdom and being able to hold and embody the energy of the fool, and the wisdom of the beginner.

And juxtapose that with also the wisdom of the elder who has been around the block and knows all these things, and has all this collection of wisdom from all these experiences and house the answers to everything. There's wisdom in both wisdom and both. And so I think that when we are able to say what a grand adventure this has been, sometimes I know it doesn't always feel very adventurous. But I do think that there is such beauty in that. And there's such inspiration in that.

It was interesting, I was trying to think of illustrations from my own life to share today about times where maybe I have been the fool, you know, Kawaii is the obvious one. Now, certainly, it doesn't always have to be that big, we don't always use the energy for a massive life change. You know, sometimes that energy is just beginning something new. And saying yes to something that might make our life a little bit chaotic. But we're really intrigued by the possibility.

And we're willing to be a little bit of a novice or beginner, or at least put ourselves in new circumstances, and worry less about how we show up and looking like we have it all together. And being the expert, and instead just stay open to our experience of the novel or experience of the new. So sometimes we might do this in little ways just through going to a new restaurant, or doing an activity that we wouldn't usually do and trading self consciousness for the adventurer and the experience.

[37:46] That Time I Went To Oregon & Serendipity Happened

But really what came to mind per time that I was a fool. This was back in 2013. And I was in Oregon. And I had gone down there I'd said yes to running a race with a friend of mine, that I'd actually only met a few years before briefly in a coffee shop in Oregon. I happen to be in Oregon because I at the time, this is in 2010 Now, I was going through a divorce. And I was running quite a bit and I decided to do a I guess Ultrathon I think is what they call them a 40 mile race as a way to a rite of passage, if you will.


And when I looked at places that ultra thorns were going on, I found this 40 mile one in Oregon. And I randomly chose it. Because one at the time I lived in Alaska and I thought well, Oregon is not that far away. It feels more familiar than choosing a race that's like all the way across the country.

And it also worked out in terms of like the date time, and 40 miles felt like it was substantial enough that I could be like it would be a real accomplishment. It was more than a marathon which I'd done at that point. But I was not ready to commit to like 50 miles or beyond. I've not done anything more than 50. And I think I'm good with that. But 40 felt like a nice number.

So I choose this race called Peterson rich rumble and I happen to be in Oregon and I had spontaneously booked a hotel silvercloud Hotel, and I happen to like walk down the block and go to a coffee shop. My first day in Oregon, I run into this woman who's there and she's Russian running clothes. And she happens to be out with her running group. And they were finishing up Iran and getting coffee and we chatted for maybe five minutes.

And I happen to say like oh, like I'm a runner too. I'm here to do the Peterson rich rumble and she was really intrigued by how I just decided to show up when I'm flying solo. And we ended up trading information.

We became friends on Facebook. And over the course of the next couple of years. I don't even we never even talked on the phone but she just really related to the kinds of things I posted and every now and then might send me a message and be like I wish we live close. Start, I'd love to go for a run with you, you know, you just have like, really good energy.

And she invited me to do this race called the Silver Falls marathon in like July of 2013. And said, you can come stay with me come do this race with me. I tapped into my full energy. And I said, why not? At the time I was single.

And I was really open to having new experiences. And so I decided to go down into this this race, which was in November of that year. And a week before the race happened, I had, for me what was one of my first really big losses, I lost my dog named Pepe, who I'd had for a very long time. And he had just turned 15. And I always knew that, like, when he went, when he passed that it would be really hard on me.

And it was pet loss is a different kind of loss. And for those of us who've really loved an animal companion, and really related to them as being our family, or our friend, or soulmate in some form, we know that kind of loss leaves a hole on the heart, in a different way than other losses might, but it's very significant and meaningful.

And this little gremlin guy had seen me through, you know, the beginning of my career as a psychologist, through my first marriage, through the divorce of that, and through this becoming of self and the spiritual awakening, and all these changes that life rendered. And those years and I call this the dynamic duo. And I knew the time had to be coming because, you know, 14 year old dog going on 15, I could tell he was slowing down. But I'd always hoped for more time.

So I was faced with saying goodbye sooner than I wanted. And I thought about canceling the race. Some voice in me said just go, just go.

[41:48] The Next Time I Went To Oregon & More Serendipity Happened

And I decided to go, even though I was really struggling. And you know, it had only been like four days, five days at that point, when I first flew down, I think four days, and now I'm on a plane, you know, and I get down there. And to not dwell on this too long.

You know, I was already embodying that full energy at the time of just walking into something I remember taking like a shuttle to this woman's house. We never even talked on the phone, we made all these plans, I didn't feel afraid. Like she posted enough that I was like, this is a mom, she's a runner, I think we're gonna get along great.

I was adult life phase where I had a pretty good sense of like, who I was gonna resonate with. And I just kind of felt like she was a kindred spirit, even though we hadn't developed the friendship fully at that point, you know, and I show up at like, 5:30am in the morning at her house in Oregon.

Talk about full energy, you know, just really taking this leap. And despite my grief, I had this really lovely few days with her prior to the race and getting to know her and just kind of running errands and doing normal stuff in her life and going for runs. And it gave me some space to be away from Alaska to be away from my home space where I had all these memories of happy of my dog.

And during the race. That year, I was running a little bit faster than normal, because I you know, really missed Pepe and I was like you did not spend your whole summer training and working hard. And I had all these memories connected with him where maybe I would like go to climb a mountain for training.

And since he was little old Gremlin man, he'd stay in the car with the windows cracked, especially on rainy days where it wouldn't be too hot. And I will be like, okay, guard the car, I'm going to be up and I'm gonna go train and I'll be back or I would go out the door for a run and he gives me like this sad eyed look of Are you really leaving me.

And I would be like, Wait right here, I'll be back. And then we like go to the coffee shop and go get him a biscuit and me and mocha when I was done like all these memories. And I was like you did not spend your summer doing all of this to get here and to run slow because you feel sad. And so I used it to inspire me.

And I had this spiritual sense that he was with me like a Patronus from Harry Potter, you know, spurring me along, because I was running so fast. I ended up passing the sky at mile seven, who was going a little bit slower. That's a whole other story for another day.

But long story short, we chatted a little bit and kind of ran close to the same speed. And he finished the race before me and stuck around and waited at the end to chat with me. And his mom was there that day at the race with him. I remember thinking that's really sweet this guy brought his mom, you know, and he got my number after the race and I had this, this thought in my head of like, I don't need some guy from Oregon having my number.

And at the time I bend burned and enough relationships in my single years that I was not interested in any, anything that wasn't real and that wasn't sincere. But there was really no good reason to say no, and he was really nice. And so I think we exchanged that information. And another thing of serendipity happened where somehow we ended up texting afterwards. She's kind of a whole other story here.

But the point is, is that we were connected over text at that point, and he invited me for a cup of coffee the next day. And I happened to be at a coffee shop at the time, my friend was busy all afternoon, and she just dropped me off. And I was working on my art and working on my writing. And I have this moment, I almost said no, may tell you why I really could feel the grief and the ache. And despite being an Oregon and being being there for my dog, and running really well. And having this sense of I did it for me and Pepe and did it to sort of celebrate this relationship.

And I was making all this meaning at that point out of this loss. I felt really tired. I felt really tired and heart. And I felt tired and kind of jaded from this accumulation of tough life experiences that had happened.

Over the last few years since my divorce. I really struggled and relationships as I had to move into the dating world. And there was a lot of good lessons, a lot of blessings. I don't think I could have learned any other way. But I wish I hadn't learned them. And I really just felt this heaviness and this tiredness of heart. Other things that happen. I just felt like this accumulation of grief and loss, I had this heaviness.

[47:05]  Saying 'Yes' To Life

And I thought I just want to sit here in this coffee shop and drink my coffee and be in my little Empath highly sensitive person artists world and not talk to anybody. And I already showed up and did this brave thing and ran this race and used up my spirit of adventure. I don't want to have coffee with some guy and open myself up to something that's not going to be anything anyways because he lives in Oregon.

And I have this moment. I thought of the full thought of that card and the dock I thought of that deck that I've used the most at the time, then shadow escapes Taro. And I thought BethAnne When did you become the kind of person that stop saying yes to a cup of coffee with somebody that you connected with? Because you're afraid of what might happen? When did that become you?

And I really had this reckoning in that moment. And I was like, I don't want to be that person. And so I said yes. This is my husband are talking about if you haven't figured it out. So the story went on? Probably the one of the best, yes is the best yes I ever said, can you imagine if I'd said no. You know, that cup of coffee led to the beginning of a really deep friendship and long distance just getting to know each other, which eventually led to him coming to Alaska.

And like I said, there's a longer story there. But I almost missed that opportunity. Because I didn't want to be the fool and I didn't want to take a leap of faith. I didn't want to say yes to a cup of coffee. That is what the fool can offer us.

Sometimes it comes into our life and in the small voice that says Be the kind of person who says yes to this be the kind of person who takes the leap and doesn't have to think about what might happen. If this isn't even practical, like this makes no sense to do this. I'm so glad I said guys that day and I still remember so vividly having that moment of being like be the fool take a leap.

When did you become this jaded person who just wants to like cloister herself off and like hide in her grief? Like say yes to this like say yes to you know this coffee date.

[49:21] Working Constructively With the Shadow Aspects of The Fool

I think the last thing that I wanted to bring to light today is that there are times where we say yes to something we take a leap of faith. We decide to have the adventure and it doesn't work out.

And earlier I mentioned that when we are working with any of the archetypes they can be best understood within the context of all of them having a light side and a shadow side. I think a better way actually might be to say the light side is not only the positive characteristics, but maybe like in accretion is part of how we can understand, like a more integrated side. And then the shadow side is the characteristics where we haven't integrated the wisdom of the archetype. We haven't integrated the wisdom of the fool.

And so we are having an unintegrated aspect of that, our integrated and integrated experience of that particular aspect, or we are really out of balance with it, like if somebody was always rushing into something, and they were never planning and they never thought about, what might it look like on the other side, that's might not be a really balanced way to live, maybe they would have lots of adventures, but other people might say, well, they're really irresponsible, like you can't count on them for anything. If they get a better offer a better call, like they always say yes to that they don't make a good friend, or they don't do this, or they don't do that.

None of those things are necessarily in and of themselves. intended to be some judgment, like we should have to be these, you know, kind of completely balanced beings with no flaws. It's not what I'm talking about here. I just mean that when we are examining these different archetypes, it's helpful to look at, like, what's the flip side of it, if somebody had an overabundance of this energy, maybe they would have other parts of them that were really underdeveloped.

And I think part of when we think about the idea of being whole and being well, and working on building bridges inside of ourselves and accepting all aspects of ourselves, you know, earlier I said the archetypes can help us when we need to bring a aspect of ourself that we're not as familiar without to the forefront.

You know, I think when we are thinking about those things, part of wholeness is, knowing who we are being our authentic self. And knowing that we can develop qualities within us that help balance out other qualities that we might have an overabundance.

So if we were somebody who by nature had a lot of this kind of energy of just always leaping before they looked, maybe like one of the challenges in self development might be developing their own relationship with responsibility and structure and thinking things through. So when I talk about the integrated light aspects, and the shadow aspects, this isn't meant to be like, these are the good qualities.

And these are the bad qualities, and you don't want the bad qualities only the good qualities, that's way too one dimensional. Have a perspective to look at this through. I'm really thinking about looking at this more holistically and realizing that for anything, if we have an overabundance of something, that sometimes we need to develop other aspects to balance it out.

And that there can be challenges to any anything that is a personality or a character trait. They're not good or bad. They're not right or wrong. There's just a matter of how do they serve us? How can they be helpful? And how might they challenge us? And how might those challenges be an invitation to grow and become a little bit more? So I think what the full what if that cup of coffee hadn't worked out? You know, it's funny to say, I mean, obviously, this cup of coffee and this race, and all of this led to my life going on this completely different trajectory.

So the fool can have a bit of naivete to it, and sometimes regret the choices made, because they just chugged in or rush on into something without thinking about it. Now, I would challenge that and say that if we are adopting the perspective that all experiences ultimately are just part of why we're here, we're here to learn mistakes, then we can regret or an experience.

But you know, from a more spiritual perspective,

[55:44] Perspective For Regrets & Times Things Don't Work Out

But you know, from a more spiritual perspective, I would say to anybody, well, even our regrets, were still learning experiences. They were something that we learned from there was growth, there was self-discovery, there was something some kind of hidden light that we found in them.
 
So nothing's really lost. It's just part of our unique soul path, and the twists and turns that we take. And even naivete is really beautiful. Because sometimes when we're cynical, and we think we know too much, maybe we don't say yes to something that would have ended up being really beautiful.

So sometimes that innocence and that beginner's mind, and that sunny optimism and idealism of oh, I'll just be okay and work out. Sometimes that can be profoundly beautiful.

And so when it doesn't work out, we can still appreciate that some part of us had the ability to feel hope, and have the ability to be idealistic, when life breaks our heart, because something didn't work out, we don't beat ourselves up for throwing ourselves into it, or throwing our whole hearts into it.

We can celebrate ourselves and say, Oh, my gosh, I sure try hard. And I sure loved hard. And I sure fell hard, you know, and I really kind of banged myself up in this experience.
But maybe we can flip it. And instead of beating ourselves up for being naive, we can just congratulate ourselves on having like a big, pure, open, innocent heart.

So we can always work with those aspects. And I really think when we are talking about understanding shadow aspects of any, any archetype any card, the shadow aspects of the fool, it's not about here's what you want to look out for as a cautionary tale. It is about wisdom and discernment, here are some things to be aware of.

But I think ultimately, that any shadow comes into our life so that we can heal it. And we can build a bridge to that aspect of ourself. So when I look back at will say, mistakes made and choices that I made, you know, during those formative years, when I was newly single, and going through these initial stages of just awakening and becoming back in the earlier 2000s, you know, I can look at that and say, like, I forgive myself for not knowing what I didn't know, then.

And I'm grateful that I have the wisdom now. And I can appreciate how brave I was, I can appreciate how brave I was, and deciding to come to this island, and not having a huge life plan of here's what I'm gonna do for work. And here's how it's all going to look. And here's, like the five year plan, you know, I might have wisdom now and say, Well, if I were ever to do something like that again, and make another big move, and transplant, there's definitely things I would want in place now that I didn't have at the time. Because I've been through not having them.

And I just am not interested in repeating that experience where everything is such a blank slate. But I can really appreciate the courage that it took to leap. I can look back on that cup of coffee and appreciate the courage that it took for both of us to show up for coffee that day. And then to continue to pursue this long distance relationship.

And as I said, it's a whole other story, you know, with that relationship, but you know, we really leapt and we're like love or bust. And we're all and almost from the beginning. It was from that cup of coffee, I think when we realized there was really something there. And I can look back and say oh my gosh, you brave like happy young individuals with stars in your eyes. You know, we were in our 30s and 40s at the time.

So we were youngish, but not not that young. You know, but I think that's the thing about falling in love, right? It makes all of us when we're in that experience in those initial stages. It brings up the fool in us that just wants to run in and open our hearts to the experience.

And whether it's another person or we're falling in love with doing something for the first time or we're really passionate about something, something that really lights our heart up. And we are opening up to this new loving experience this new light experience with it, I hope all of us can find that part that just runs on in and takes the leap and doesn't have to know how it's going to look.

And we're able to engage with that part of ourselves and that beautiful energy because I think there's just so much wisdom to be found there. And healing that shadow stuff really isn't about don't do it. It's about learning from it.

Integrating lessons that we learn from our experiences, forgiving ourselves, what for what we didn't know, and learning to be compassionate and celebrate this beautiful aspect of ourself, that no matter how old we get, I think always retains this beginner's mind, or at least the ability to find that and to dive into something without necessarily having to know the way. And that is profoundly beautiful. And it's what the full archetype is all about.

So, I am going to end today with a poem called faith of a fool. I named this episode after that. And this is from my poetry book, Cranberry Dusk.

Faith of a fool, you can't see what's waiting on the other side, if you won't let go. Or find new ground when you've already drawn your lines in the sand. Just ask the sea, who understands much better than we, who never tries to stop the moon from changing its tides are clinging so fast to old waves, they cannot form a fresh life supports us if we let it, making a way out of hope and possibility. All it takes is the courage to believe in the faith of a fool who doesn't know better than to leap.
 
Ah, all right. I am really excited for this series and exploring all of these archetypes we are not doing another archetype next week. I'm as I said, I'm going to be spacing them out.


[1:02:19] Coming Up Next Week

Next week, our topic is standing in your power. So we will be waiting for the next archetype, which will be the magician for another week or two. 

But next week, we're going to talk about standing in your power and how do we really not only live our truth, but stand in our power and our right to live our truth. You know, I didn't say it today. But the last thing that I wrote down in my notes to talk about I wrote it is your divine birthright to embrace the archetype of the fool. It is your soul right? 

To have the experience of looking before you leap. I mixed that up leaping before you look to have that idealism, that optimism that hope that is part of standing in your power. And there are many things that are divine birthright. 

And we're going to talk about what are those things? How do we stand in our power? How do we own our experience of self, if we are making a break from what everybody else is doing or from life as we knew it? And we're standing in our own truth or doing something that feels authentic to us? How can we do that in a way where we are less apologetic about it, and more about empowering ourselves and saying, I know this is right for me. 

And so this is what I'm choosing to follow. So we will be exploring concepts of power, living our truth. And not only how do we stand in it, and a way where we don't apologize for it, and more of an external sense, but how do we work with ourselves internally, when we are trying to stand in our truth, and we're kind of afraid to do so. And we keep doubting or we keep questioning herself. So we will look at both our inner relationship with that and our outer relationship with that. 

So with that, thank you so much for joining me today. I will be back here next week with our next episode. And until then, be well. Be Love, be you and be magic