Below is a transcript of the episode as generated by Otter.ai. (*please note, this transcript has only been edited to put in line breaks for easier readability and may contain errors where a word or phrase got lost in transcription.)

[0:13] Introduction to Episode

Aloha and welcome to Your Heart magic and illuminating space where psychology spirituality and heart wisdom meet. Here's your host, Dr. BethAnne Kapansky. Wright, the clinical psychologist with a mystic mind.

Hello, hi, everybody. This is Dr. BethAnne Kapansky Wright, and welcome to Your Heart magic. Today we are talking about the topic, developing discernment on the path. And I think that this is such an important topic for any of us, especially in the world today, where there is so much information coming our way. And so much misinformation. That's often coming our way as well.

So many conflicting ideas and opinions, energetically, if you just even like read the news cycle, let alone try and just tune into the energy right now. I think many of us that are energetically sensitive have the experience where things feel really chaotic. They feel conflicting, it feels like there's a lot of voices and information flying about right now.

And so figuring out, what is the truth of what I'm reading or sensing or hearing or feeling about this? And what is my truth in some of the things that I might be hearing about or reading about in the news cycle? What is my truth on my path in life?

There are again, so many ideas about what it is to be human and how we should do life and who we should be in this world and being able to discern and to understand those things might hold value for ourselves. They might hold value for other people, but they might not necessarily resonate fully for us.

[2:23] How Discernment Can Help Support Our Path

And so how do we discern our truth and a situation? And how might we discern truth and relationships? How do we navigate relationships with more wisdom and more ability to discern who somebody is and what we might be perceiving in a dynamic? And how can that inform us to make wiser choices or the most intelligent choices that we know how.

So discernment is an extremely important quality that we need as human beings, we need it as spiritual beings. And we're exploring the idea today of what is it and how do we continue to grow our relationship with discernment and our lives. I intentionally call this episode developing discernment on the path.

Because something that I really believe about discernment, and we'll be talking about a little bit more is it's not something that you just have or you don't have it. It is something that you grow and you develop and your relationship to it changes as you mature, and you gain wisdom and gain experiences. So it is something that we continually develop.

And I believe something that probably evolves for us as we go through new life experiences and new life stages. And it is something that serves us on the path. It's something that our experiences on our individual journeys help us with that development.

So there is this symbiotic relationship between just walking our path, learning wisdom, gaining truth, and what can potentially come from that is this increased development of discernment. So it all works together. And if you go online and just type in what is discernment, according to dictionary.com, they very scholarly resource. It is an acuteness of judgment and understanding.

Actually, I had to laugh, it said what discernment is, is the act of discerning and I was like, Come on, give us a little bit more could you define than what discerning is, but some of the words and synonyms that they use for where penetration and site perspicacity acumen it is seeing truth I tend to think a discernment is something that helps us see truth and sift through what is genuine and real.

And I was really curious about where Is the etymology of the word come from, what's the origin, it's Latin. And it is basically from a Latin word that looks very much like discern. And it means to separate to separate what's important or true from what's not. So when we talk about discernment, we are talking about sifting for the truth. We are talking about sifting through layers of information in something that might cloud our judgment, or sometimes be an outright lie, or something that's not true at all. And truly trying to get to the heart of the matter to gain clarity to gain insight. I've often

found that when we can get to the heart of the matter and gain clarity and insight, that the truth really does set us free. And even if we don't like it, it allows us to say, Okay, now I know what I'm working with. Now I know what I'm looking at. Now I'm able to see this with a clear lens and a clear gaze.

And when I do that, I can make better choices. If we are caught in a relationship, and we're not discerning truth, let's say we are seeing somebody from the perspective of who we believe they can be who we think they can be, but we're not really seeing who they really are. Discernment can be a really useful tool, because it can equip us and seeing that individual over time for who they really are.

And that can help inform us with boundaries, with communication with understanding our role in the relationship, depending on the nature of the relationship. It might inform us as to what action we should take, maybe it gives us information on do I want this individual in my life, do I not? Where am I I conceptualize them in the concentric circles of relationships that are maybe part of my friends, community, business relationships, acquaintance ships, those kinds of things.

[07:11]  The Limitations of Discernment

So it is an extremely useful tool. And before we really dive into, like, how do we keep growing or our juicy ability to discern and be these wise beings who are kind of walking around being like I see the truth in this situation and feeling super equipped to navigate. I wanted to talk about what discernment isn't because I feel like this is an extremely important concept that sometimes some of the stuff in here we kind of get caught up on.

And I think it kind of clouds our ability to give ourselves permission to learn and grow. So the first thing what discernment is not discernment is not being some all knowing or goal, who is able to see everything coming, and never ever get surprised or tricked by life or tricked by somebody else.

Discernment is not this omnipotence, where somehow we are expected to see through like every single illusion that there is see wisdom in everything, to never, ever fall for something or somehow have somebody pull the wool over our eyes and leave us feeling like I thought I knew who you were and you weren't at all, you know, or maybe it's something silly, we fall for like a credit card scam or something like that. And then we beat ourselves up and say, Oh, my gosh, I should have known better.

Discernment does not mean that we know everything. Somebody who is very gifted in the art of dissent. Certainement does not pull up the headlines and just go through them and say this is true. This isn't true. This isn't true. This isn't true.

Discernment, the act of discerning is a sifting process. It's not this immediate knowing. I do think that the more we gain wisdom, the more that we work with our good judgment, and learning to discern. I think the more we can sometimes more quickly cut to the heart of the matter. Because we start to build an experience base. And we might say, wow, I've heard this story before, or I've seen this caricature of something that comes into my life.

And it seems too good to be true, but I really want to believe it. And the last couple of times that happened, it was too good to be true. So I'm going to proceed with caution this time. So we start to build experiences that help us get to the heart of the matter faster.

And sometimes we are able to almost instantaneously just look at something and say okay, that feels very off to me. There's obviously more to the story here. or, but more often than not, I think to sermon is meant to be a process, I don't think it's meant to be some automatic thing that somehow you just know.

And that we should beat ourselves up for the things that we don't know or judge ourselves. If somehow we feel like we got tricked into something, we spent a lot of times a lot of time and self judgment and self condemnation kicking ourselves for not knowing better. And I think we could probably save ourselves a lot of useless pain, by just continuing to learn to practice self forgiveness and self acceptance, and to continue to develop an attitude that like we're all on the journey here.

No matter how much you think, you know, there's always something that you don't know there's always something to be gained. No one person can hold the library of wisdom inside of them and be some all knowing creature. I believe that might be God that we're talking about without one.

So nobody's expected to know everything we are here as human beings to grow, to learn to experience. Mistakes is how we figure things out. And how we learn just certain men does not mean either that if we are entering into something with this much wisdom that we know how that somehow we are infallible and perfect. I think many people have had a situation where they did take the time to really weigh, you know, cost benefit, to really discern, to really think about what's the truth in this situation, they weigh things, they take a little bit of time to sift and to evaluate.

And then they step into something. And it maybe doesn't work out at all the way they thought or maybe again, it turned out to be something completely different. And now it's this greater level of frustration, because it's like, I didn't just like dive into this naively, I really thought about it. I did everything the best.

I knew how, like, I really tried to be wise, I really tried to reflect I made sure I wasn't repeating the mistakes that I've made in the past. And it happened again, you know, or everything fell apart. What gives? I thought I was wiser than this. I thought I should have known better. I thought I didn't know better. How do I end up in this? We're not expected to be infallible.

[12:33] Discernment is Not Infallibility

Sometimes we do make the best decision. We know how we follow our guidance the best we know how. And we find out that something isn't what it seems. And there can be many reasons for that, depending on what the something isn't what it seems actually is, was it a person? Was it a situation?

Was it a circumstance, you know, there can be anything from something being that shrouded in deceit or illusion that even the wises couldn't see the way through, it could be that karmically another person was on a energetic path to kind of respond in a way, like sometimes somebody might go to see me for an Akashic reading, or some sort of an intuitive reading and ask, what's the energy around this and I try and be very careful to say, if nothing changes, this is the energy that I feel right now.

And that is important, because sometimes psychically, energetically, we will sense where something is that and if nothing is to change, it might mean that that person, let's say it's another person, this is a great person for them to connect with. Well, what if that person doesn't uphold their end of things? What if they make a different decision that you couldn't see coming, and they make a different choice.

And so you thought you were both headed in the same direction and you find out that you're going in different directions entirely, and you can't figure out how it happened. So sometimes, a person or a factor that wasn't taken into account, or that we couldn't see shifts, something changes. It's not uncommon to be working with spirit with the angels or the Akashic records, and to be given guidance that even spirit doesn't see all ends.

I've mentioned this on the show before, but I want to ask the Akashic records like hey, what gives when I you know, ask you guys a question, and you tell me something, and it doesn't come true or it turns out to be wrong.

What gives when we go see somebody that is a trusted, intuitive, a psychic, somebody who is a has energetic abilities, and the ability is a perception and it's substantiated. It's somebody that feels really trustworthy and they feel To like somebody who really is perceiving the energy of something, and they say this is going to happen, or this is the energy and it doesn't turn out, it turns out entirely differently.

You know, how can we understand that. And one of the most beautiful things that I've learned that I was told is that our guides and our team of light can see things, many things that we can't see it can see further ahead. And two things, it can see many outcomes and many possibilities that we can't see. Let's say we're getting a message from somebody who does Angel communications. And our angels often know what's best for us.

And they often have a lot of wisdom that can help direct us in our life. And so they will always give us the best wisdom that they know how and they can see much further down the timeline than we can. And so often, they will try and help steer us in the right direction to help circumvent issues that we might get into if we make a different decision. Just try and keep our path as easy as possible.

But in that moment, in the record, the records actually said like even spirit outside of Source Creator outside of the Divine Being that many of us might understand as creator or source or God or divine intelligence, outside of that even spirit doesn't see all ends. So sometimes, we will tell you, based on everything that we see, this is the most likely thing to happen now.

But that can change. And we can change we have free will. And our free will often changes the course of something. So sometimes the free will of ourselves or of another others, again, will change the course of something. So when we are discerning, it does not equal infallibility and perfect all knowing, seeing. And we need to find grace for process. And we need to take away this black and white thinking that either we are or we aren't.

And just allow for the possibility that I am this amazing discerning being who is continuing to develop wisdom on my path. And I'm also learning I also make mistakes, I also don't always get it right. Spirit doesn't always get it right. And I practice a lot of forgiveness and surrender and grace.

And when we do that, that allows us to continue on our path, and really get out of our own way and get out of like this ego stuff, and these mental blocks that we often have around how life should be. And instead, it really equips us to work with how life is and just bring a lot more grace into that process. And we can always stay curious if we thought something was going to happen or go one way and it didn't. And we were convinced that we were right.

We can always just stay curious and say, Well, sounds like there's a new lesson for me to learn in this. And I'm going to stay open to what that is. I thought I had life figured out and I guess I don't something unexpected has happened.

So maybe life has something to teach me about this process of being soul on a human journey that I've yet to learn. And so I'm going to have the opportunity to learn a new truth, discernment, whether or not we get it right, where we were able to discern truth, maybe we don't discern the truth.

[18:33] When Discernment Goes Wrong - It's Not a Negative Reflection

It's not meant to be a negative reflection. On Us. It's not some like spiritual benchmark, where somehow this like upper echelon of super spiritual people is really discerning. And all the little peons who are still working on their spiritual development aren't, you know, every now and then I am on social media, more to share my writing and my work, I don't spend a lot of time engaging, I'm a horrible engager I'm good, better at posting terrible at engaging, but every now and then I will spend a little bit of time just kind of looking at some of the stuff that might come across my feed on like Instagram or something like that.

And sometimes I'll see people who are in spiritual circles. And you know, there's kind of this post that they might do that it has this tone to it. Maybe something's going on in the world. And it will be like those of us who've been following you know, this way of being you know, could have told you that 20 years ago, good that everybody else is catching up.

You know, there's almost this smug tone that comes through with it, and I get that sometimes it's funny, sometimes these are funny posts, and they're meant to be funny. They're not meant to be taken super seriously. But sometimes there's almost like this smugness. that is attached to it or this kind of self righteousness that somehow because somebody feels like they're dialed into cosmic transits or a spiritual connection, or they've read so and so's work, that somehow, again, there's this tear to aspire to.

And somehow if you're not at that place that it makes people more ignorant or less knowing. I'm like cringing saying that i You can't see my face, maybe you can hear it in my tone, that's really icky. To me, it is really kind of gross to me to think about imposing some sort of spiritual hierarchy.

Ultimately, we are all on a soulful path, every path is a spiritual path. Now there are those of us who will be drawn to things that might fall under the library section of spirituality, you know, and we will find that interesting. And we will want to grow it like an interest, just like somebody who's super into gardening, or super into travel, or super into sports, or baseball facts, might find that really fun, and they might want to grow information on that. But we are all on a spiritual path.

And I think remembering that we're no more than, and no more or less than we are all on our own journeys. Discernment is not judgment, that makes somebody else wrong, or makes our self right at the expense of feeling better than somebody or making them wrong. And sometimes it's human to feel that way.

So I don't say any of this, that if you've ever experienced a feeling state of smugness, it's fine. We feel all the feelings, feelings are information, feelings aren't bad, they help us understand aspects of ourselves. But we don't have to necessarily stay in a feeling state that feels kind of critical or judgmental to us.

We can have compassion and be like, hey, ego, what's up over there feeling so smug and good about yourself that you think you know, so much? You know, maybe we can laugh at ourselves a little bit and laugh when we see that more egoic side come out, that has the need to feel a little bit better than and then maybe we can just give ourselves grace, because there's so many things that we don't know, and so many things that we're still learning and try and come back to that space of being a humble learner on this path.

But I think that judgment piece and that smug piece, we don't need to judge ourselves for something that we don't know. It's not some litmus test that if you have it, somehow you've achieved a benchmark.

And if you don't have it, like go back to start, don't collect $200 and start all over again, only Baltic Avenue for you. You know, discernments not the Park Place of spiritual monopoly. There is no Park Place in spiritual monopoly, there's probably no spiritual monopoly, if I stay with this metaphor, is just something that will help us on the path.

And it's something that we're encouraged to develop, because it allows us to stay on our path, stay on our heart, stay in our lane, not get pulled into other people's agenda, not get pulled into mistruths not get pulled into static and chatter and things that can be a real distraction, and really keep us from being our clearest, most authentic, most distilled, heart based version of self.

That's why we want discernment, not because it makes us better than that, because it allows us to live better. And it allows us to be in our heart wisdom and to access that with more just delicious clarity. And that's always a good thing. So, moving on to like, how do we build it? How do we keep understanding and growing our relationship with discernment?

[24:18} Discernment Is A Work In Progress

It is a work in progress. And I think that's one of the principles of discernment is really seeing it as something that is an ongoing worker progress that grows as we grow. I wrote down that word bamboozled as a note in my my kind of scribblings today about some talking points I wanted to bring on to this so a little story here about my growth with discernment and a moment that quite a bit of self knowledge and experience and discernment came from so this is back in after it was it was after my divorce before I had met my husband now and so before I was married now.

So this is kind of these dating years for me. And I have written about those shares and talked about those shares quite a bit. And I often call them my growing up years, because I was in my early 30s, early to mid 30s.

And I had really been thrust out into the world of relationships and dating and men. And I had been in my previous relationship, my previous marriage, I was married really young, I was married at, I think, 20. I turned 21, just a few weeks afterwards, after the wedding, but we met when I was like 1920. And so I'd essentially spent those formative years and my 20s in a marriage in graduate school, I was a very mature, responsible young adult.

And I had some really nice knowledge that I learned from what it is to be married, I had some really big knowledge that had come from what is it to go through heartbreak. And to go through a divorce, I had some nice psychological wisdom, I was an early career psychologist, during that time period, I'd gotten my doctorate gone on and started practicing.

So I knew a few things. But something that I didn't really know about was the dating world, and the dating world as it is when you're in more like your 30s and into your 40s. And you're not just dating, you know, straight out of college or in your early 20s. And I had a lot of very painful lessons, also really growing lessons.

During that time, because I kind of wore my heart on my sleeve. It's just who I was, how I am. And I had a lot of naivete in believing that people were who they said they were. And so if somebody said, you know, kind of presented themselves in this light of who they aspire to be, but they didn't say this is who I'm aspiring to be, you know, they would come at it more from wanting to be that person already. And so they would talk about what they valued.

And I'm thinking, oh my gosh, like, here's this like, really amazing person. And they seem to hold you know, all these philosophies in common with me, remembering somebody in particular, what I remember really vividly about this person, it was kind of a failed relationship, you know, somebody that I dated for like five seconds, and it was over before it had even started if it even started, but my heart got a little bit caught up in the process.

And since I'm a highly sensitive person who processes everything at such a depth level and takes everything so seriously, you know, I was never a good just casual dater, where I just let something go and was like, well, they're a jerk move on, you know, I had the tendency to analyze and then analyze some more and analyze them more and keep on digging.

And if I can mine for like the deepest wisdoms and truths and gems in a situation I would, and then I keep digging in the dirt for a while to see if there was anything else there to be gained. Even if everything had already been everything that had been knowing and could be discovered already had been. That was my experience, I think many highly sensitive people might relate to the idea of overly analyzing everything and overly excavating relationships and our lives.

But what I remember really well about this is having this moment where I had been through this painful process with this person. And I'd really believed that they were one way and really believed that they were on a similar trajectory that I found myself on at the time. And then they started dating somebody else.

And it came about in a way that was really painful, didn't come out in the most forthright way, when I found out who it was, and it really hit me in the face. But what I remember so vividly is they took a turn in a very different direction than the trajectory that I thought they were on. And I had a very strong reaction when I found out the choice of who they were dating.

And I remember having this moment of standing in the kitchen of the place that I was renting at my time at the time, and having this like bombs blowing up in my brain, where I was like, wait, what, they're, they're weighed with what? And I was like, okay, this person is not truly seeking a relationship of integrity and substance.

[29:41] Discernment In Dating: Getting Bamboozled

Like they're really looking for fun right now, regardless of what they say. And I remember being like I've been bamboozled and that was the word that came through. I have been absolutely an utterly bamboozled. I have been like so tricked, and so duped and If I felt so foolish, because I'd really believed what I had been told. And then what I was seeing with my eyes was something to the complete contrary of that.

And that was the word I don't know if I've ever used that word before or ever use that word sense is bamboozled. And that's exactly how I felt just really deceived with something. And it was almost comical, because it was so funny to me in a sense of like, oh my gosh, like who you said you were, and who you truly are like, it just doesn't match up. It just doesn't add up at all.

And what that was eventually after I got over my bamboozlement, and my befuddlement and kind of feeling B, which I don't know what's with all the B words, but befuddled all of those over the situation. Like when I was really able to delve into it, what it really brought me to was learning to discern that who somebody says they are, isn't necessarily who they really are. And that's an old truth. It's one that many people might already know. And maybe you're listening to this and nodding and saying, oh, yeah, that is so true.

And I think if somebody had said that, to me, prior to this happening, I would have agreed and said, Oh, yeah, that's so true. And I might have thought of a couple of instances where I learned that in my life, but I've yet to learn that within the context of dating relationships, I get to learn that within the specific context of that relationship, that life stage, I was learning an old truth in a new way.

And I was learning it in a way that was painful, but ultimately was really clarifying, and really helped me to move forward and start to try and use a little bit more of my wise mind, as opposed to just wanting to believe what people say about themselves. It helped me want to dig for truth a little bit more. And it helped me learn as well, that it's not uncommon for somebody else to borrow ego strength from somebody in the relationship who holds more ego strength.

So somebody who has a more substantial identity, who maybe is more grounded, who has more resources in them. Sometimes when we are in a relationship with somebody, that relationship is nonspecific, it could be any kind of a relationship, but let's say we're talking to them one on one, sometimes energetically, a person can borrow some of that strength from us.

And so they can present themselves as their best self, or it allows them in the moment, if we are very good at seeing somebody's potential, maybe they're picking up on that. And they show that potential in the moment, maybe they respond to it, maybe they step up to energetically that strength that we could see that they could build within themselves.

And then they go off on their own and do their own thing. And they can't quite hold it because they were borrowing from the stronger person, they were borrowing from the person who maybe has more substance or grounding, they've done a little bit more self work. And so when they're off on their own, they can't quite do it, it's a little bit like having a spotter. in gymnastics, you can do the trick when somebody spotting you and giving you an assist, but you're not quite capable of doing it on your own yet.

Now somebody who's really trying to stay in integrity on their path, is probably going to keep doing their inner work until they can do it on their own, they're probably going to continue to try and see where they feel challenged to grow, and try and keep integrating and doing what they need to do to become stronger there.

So that they are able to keep moving forward in a way where they are holer and more authentic and more healed. Somebody who is not necessarily interested in doing the work might wander off and forget all about how they felt when they were borrowing all that great ego strength that you might have been lending them. Sometimes they're not interested in learning to do it themselves. Sometimes they're just interested in having somebody prop them up.

[34:20] Developing Discernment in a World of Misinformation

So there's a lot of different ways of being lots of different motivations out there. But I was bamboozled. And ultimately, all that meant for me was that I was a work in progress, learning to discern as I go. I wasn't expected to know that lesson even though I had some nice life wisdom to me.

And even though it wasn't like I wasn't newly out of the gate, and 15 years old, I was 34,35 or something at the time, but I hadn't had certain experiences that would have given me what eventually became a knowledge base. Where I was able to have a lot more wisdom and discernment.

And as I move forward on my path from then on out, I did a little bit of a better job at kind of knowing just because somebody says something doesn't necessarily mean it's true. So we have permission to learn and to grow in the path, and we have permission to change our viewpoint. As new information and new awareness comes up.

Discernment is not rigidity to a value or a belief system. I think growing discernment is learning to be fluid. And it's learning that we might change our point of view, as we gain new knowledge or new experiences. And I don't think we need to be afraid of that.

There's kind of an interesting thing around how we attach to what we believe or what we know. And sometimes there is this attachment there that we like should know something, or that we should have a position on something. Sometimes we feel like, we have to like we're mature if we know exactly how we feel about something. And it's not okay to be wishy washy.

It was interesting, the Akashic records, and one of the episodes I did that was I'm not sure which one it was maybe navigating some of the chaos and challenge in this world. But one of the things that the record said is that they're really surprised at how quick we often are to form a position statement or an opinion on something that is actually a very complex issue.

And I think we see this a lot, when we get, like fall down the rabbit hole of reading the comments on social media, I don't do that very much. I just try and stay away from an entirely because it feels like injecting myself with poison a lot of the time, there's just so much out there so much anger so much that people are projecting on to situations, people are so quick to rush to judgment, it just usually feels kind of ugly to me. But sometimes, if you want to get out the popcorn, you know, for some people reading the comments, it's fun, there's a lot that you can see there.

And you can certainly observe a lot about people's opinions and how quick they are to form them and how quick they are to attach to stuff, how quick they are to defend, like what they know. And I know this because of this.

And it's interesting to me, it is okay for us to give ourselves space to form a viewpoint. It's okay for us to not know something, it's okay for us to say to the best of my knowledge right now, this is what I know to be true, this is the best wisdom that I have on this. And that might be subject to change, because I might get new information that helps me change my viewpoint. It is okay to say I identify with like x political party or x belief system, or whatever it is.

But also to leave room and say and to the best of my ability, because it most aligns with my values right now. And if that changes, at some point, I give myself permission to change with it. We don't ever have to be so locked into something that we are afraid to challenge our own status quo. And I think that is where many people kind of lose discernment or lose an opportunity for discernment.

That's a better way to put it, they lose an opportunity to dig for truth and to dig beyond a political agenda, or a spiritual value system, or well, so and so said this. So it must be true, they missed the opportunity to do a little bit more digging and sifting. And really look at what's really going on here to really collect information from a variety of sources.

Something that has come up from time to time when I'm working with the Akashic records on issues for the collective is this general exhortation that right now, at this point in time, we are called to develop our discernment by not being afraid to collect a variety of informational sources specifically with the news. And really ask yourself the question of who's writing this?

Do they have an agenda? What is the other side say, if you want to call it that? What's the other viewpoint say that we're really being called to deeper wisdom right now. And that part of what is happening in the world is sources that we moments might have thought were trustworthy, might not be as trustworthy right now.

There might be an agenda behind them. And I don't mean that from some big conspiracy viewpoint. And, or anything like that, it was more of a invitation to say, I really want to discern and dig as much as possible.

So if we are living in the age where information is easily spread, and there's a lot of misinformation and disinformation, then what's the opportunity for those of us that are you called to find light call to find truth, the opportunity is to really dig and to really try and discern the truth of a situation, and to be open to multiple sources to be open to a different viewpoint to be open to how somebody else might think about something, we don't have to agree with it. We don't have to take it into ourselves as our own.

[40:44]  Complex Issues, Finding Truth Through Spiritual Connection

We don't have to have it be our stance. But I think it is something that mentally keeps us flexible, to consider it from some alternate way of thinking about it. And remember that there's many ways to walk around a sphere an issue, or something that's complex, there's many perspectives. Depending on where you're standing.

There's many vantage points. And when we're open to looking at something from multiple vantage points, it actually frees us up to not be attached to having to make one of them right, or have it be like have our vantage point be the correct one. And it actually helps us discern for truth, even more, ultimately, something that I do for very complex issues that kind of make my brain fuzzy.

And I will say oh my gosh, I just don't even know what to believe about this. This feels really complex. To me. There's a lot going on here. There's a lot of opposing sides. How do I figure out what I even think about this?

First thing is, again, the permission like not to know and not to form a position statement, I was very grateful to the Akashic records when they were like, we're really surprised how many people rush in and they after right, kind of write out what their position is, when something is so complex, it is okay to take your time to figure out I don't even know what I'm looking at right now. How am I supposed to form a standpoint on it. So permission not to know permission to be investigative to be curious to gather information.

Second thing is, I always know that compassion and love are key, I always know that they will be fundamental to trying to understand the complexity is something that I'm looking at. So if nothing else, I can always look at something and say, from a human point of view, what would compassion have to say about this?

What would love say about this? What story might the individuals involved or the situation be trying to tell me? How might I look at this through a spiritual lens, I can always bring it to that. And then the last thing that I do for myself is, the more things get loud around something, the more I usually know the quieter I need to get, and just be an observer. And really get into my own heart space, and journal, my thoughts on something, pray for guidance, pray for wisdom, pray for discernment.

I know that ultimately, if something feels big to me, and it's creating a lot of chaos, or conflict or fear inside of me, that I am not going to be able to discern my truth of the situation from that space. I can't create a standpoint or a vantage point a truth for myself. If I'm standing on the rocky ground of chaos, turbulence, and empathy overload, I can only find my truth in something and the best way that I feel called to move forward. If I can stand on the solid foundation of my spiritual connection, my light, and my truth, and my sense of love and compassion and heart wisdom.

So that is how I work with things when I'm trying to discern truth in something that feels incredibly complex. Whether that is a world event going on, that is kind of mind shattering, and I'm trying to make sense of it. Or whether that's something in my life, where maybe it's an ongoing pattern or dynamic in a relationship or something maybe that's an ongoing pattern or dynamic with myself.

Whatever it is, the more complex it feels, and the more it makes my mind spin, the more I know that I need to get really, really still so that I can listen. One of the ways that I think about working with this level of discernment is actually kind of seeing it as a multi layered process. or I guess a multi tiered process. It's like seeing it like a layer cake. And when I am able to get to that still space, I'm much better able to look at like, Okay, what's the spiritual discernment here?

[45:16] Spiritual Discernment and Cutting Through Illusion

What is spirits take on this? What might spirits perspective be? That is an excellent question to ask. And then I like to look at like, what's the truth just from like reality's point of view, that can be a little bit more complicated, because perspectives on truth can vary.

But I'll just trying, I have a very practical mind when I need for my mind to be practical and kind of a grounded way of looking at things. And it's kind of like, what's the simplest truth that I know to be true? So for example, let's say that I'm trying to make a choice on something, and I am not wanting like, I'm trying to decide, should I do this thing? Should I not do this thing?

And I have all these reasons that I think I should do it. And all these reasons that I think that I shouldn't do it. I might look at like, what would spirits say about this? You know, what would spirits say about kind of balancing, juggling work life stuff are juggling. All these things on my calendar right now are juggling my schedule.

And maybe that would be something that I pulled some oracle cards on? Maybe it would be something that I read a passage in a book on, maybe I might just think about, like, what would spirits say, you know, and just kind of ask myself that question and do some free journaling.

And maybe what comes out is, you know, spirit would say to that, we are here to learn and to grow. And that ultimately, my job is to make the best choice that I know to make, and see how it turns out. And you know, just kind of forgive myself, if it doesn't work out, and forgive myself, you know, if it does work out, and just try and come at this from a place of self acceptance and grace, maybe I would try and draw on some of those principles.

And then I would look at what's the simplest truth, like just kind of looking at both sides of things. What's the simplest truth here? And maybe the simplest truth is I don't have space in my schedule should do it. Boom, right there. That is discerning from reality point of view. I can't it no matter how much I want to I can't, you know, sometimes the simplest truth is, this relationship is no good for me.

Or I am not ready to end this friendship. But I do need to take a step back. It is really useful sometimes just to try and find a very practical, wise, grounded voice and be like, what's the simplest truth? Like what am I dealing with in reality right now? And then the last level of discernment is really like, what's my personal truth in it?

And maybe my personal truth is, is that I know that I need to say no to this, but I'm really sad that I can't do it. And I am realizing that I'd like to be able to say yes to something like this in the future. And so I need to make some changes and how I'm structuring my life right now to clear up space for this kind of opportunity.

You know, maybe my personal truth is, I am, I know, so glad that I had the opportunity to know this person, but I, you know, I'm really grieved that it didn't work out and the friendship and I want to work on some loving kindness meditation, so I can let the friendship Go in peace.

There's many ways that we can find like our personal truth and what we need to do for ourselves. That helps us to have a sense of clarity and insight and kind of inform the action step that we need to take. But I find it helpful to think about what's the truth from spirits perspective? What is kind of this grounded, realistic, practical truth? What's the simplest truth? And then what is your personal truth in a situation? What holds true for you?

And how might that inform you to move forward to learn to grow, to learn a lesson to take an action step? So I find it very instructive to kind of break it down and look at it from those different levels of discernment, so that I can better understand what I'm looking at and what I'm working with. Ultimately, discernment is what helps us cut through the chaos and the illusion of something and really come to the heart of the matter. You know, illusion is an interesting thing. It's something I'm still understanding is a concept and a construct, but illusion is anytime that we're not seeing something clearly.

It's any time Have something looks to us on the surface isn't entirely true. It's anytime that we're not quite seeing the full picture. Illusion can be when we're projecting something when we want it to be a certain way, but it's not. And so we're not really seeing it with clarity. Sometimes illusion is when somebody else is presenting themselves a certain way or situation is presenting itself a certain way. And it's really not what it looks like.

And so we're not seeing it with a clear gaze illusion can be a lot of things. Sometimes illusion can be a downright deception where nothing is as it seems. But I think outside of that, more often than not a lot of illusion on the spiritual path is found in the gray areas and found in the nuance where something is sort of what it looks like.

But there's also more there, and we can't quite figure out what that more there is. And so we're trying to figure out like, what is this? What am I looking at? What am I grappling with? How can I see this with more clarity? How can I see this through a true perspective.

And I always think that we can look at something through our heart wisdom, and through the eyes of the heart, that always helps us cut through illusion. We don't have to be all knowing we don't have to know exactly what motives, agendas, motivations, what's really behind the curtain, if we can just look at something through the eyes of our heart, a lot of times that helps us cut right through the illusion and kind of let go of who's creating the illusion, what all is behind it, and just get to our personal truth of so what do I need to do about it?

What is my truth in this situation? What is real for me.

[51:48] Truth, Illusions, and Self-Discovery

And knowing that what is true and real for each of us might vary from person to person, because we are on different paths. Something that is kind of beautiful and fascinating to me, that I learned through my Akashic Records work is that sometimes on our soul journey, we do sign up to come into this world and work with a certain viewpoint.

That's why some people might come in and they hold a certain value system, or they have a certain way of seeing things, and it's very different than people around them are different than the population norm. And I've seen in the records before where sometimes a person, that's just what they signed up for. They wanted as a soul to experience the world through that vantage point.

And so as long as they are on their path, that's probably the vantage point that they're going to be working with. And there's lots of room for them to grow and learn and expand in that. It might not be my vantage point, it might not be how I see things, but I can respect that square they're coming at it from so that records have really helped me take a step back.

So has my you know, being a psychologist and just working with people throughout the years and really having the privilege of kind of meeting people where they're at and hearing about life. From their point of view, we're all souls on the journey. Like I said, at the beginning of this, we're no more than or no less than we are all on a spiritual path.

Even the people who reject that and don't know it, they're still on the spiritual path. So it's really about understanding that sometimes it really doesn't matter. What is creating the illusion, what's behind it. What matters is what our heart tells us to be true for us, and what our next step is, or our next action is because of that.

And if we can just keep coming into that heart place, and figuring out what's my next step. What's true for me, what is the truth in this situation? What does my heart want me to discern and to know, then, really, we're gold. That's all we need to know, to take the next right step. And then the next right step after that.

[54:02] Selected Reading: The Illusion From Revelations of The Sky

So I want to end today with a passage from my book. This is revelations of the sky. It's actually called the illusion. And it is about a time in my life where I was really working on cutting through illusions and self deception around feeling like I couldn't trust myself, and feeling like I couldn't make mistakes.

And so I kind of take this idea of discernment, and I put a twist on it and this passage, and yeah, I'm just gonna read it. This I think I wrote this in probably around 2019. So this was a few years back. I'd been living in kawaii a few years by then. And here we go the illusion:

Three things cannot be long hidden. The sun, the moon and the truth, Buddha

 There's a card and one of my oracle decks called discernment. I started pulling it regularly back in the summer, and the meaning is about seeing something through the eyes of truth, seeing with wisdom and clarity, seeing something for what it really is, instead of how we think it is. I work with different decks regularly and my intuitive practice.

So when the same card keeps popping up, or the same message from different sources, I pay attention. There is also a card in the tarot called the seven of swords. It represents seeing through illusions, and sometimes indicate someone is being deceptive in your life and not telling the truth.

Another card in the tarot, the moon echoes the sentiment, encouraging us to delve below the surface of things and realize all is not as it appears to be. The moon asks us to consider the questions. What is not being illuminated in our lives and where is the illusion?

What is important to note about all of these cards is that in almost every reading I've done since my birthday back in July, they've been popping up over and over again. The themes of truth elimination, deception and discernment are rife. And my life at this time, when I was younger, even just a few years back, these kinds of cards made me nervous.

 Oh, no, what am I not seeing? Is somebody tricking me? I interpreted them as if they indicated somebody in my life was lying to me or not being honest, I would feel like I was doing something wrong, wondering what I was missing in a situation.

 Or if I was foolishly allowing the wall to be pulled over my eyes. It's a fear based interpretation, rooted in the idea that I can't trust myself to see with clarity, or trust that whatever truths I need to know, will unveil and reveal and time I've grown since then, Kauai has forced me to face my fears, and route so firmly in the light and knowledge of myself. I now know how to interpret these cards without fear.

 I understand the message spirit is trying to bring through the illusion and deception aren't what's going on outside of you. It's what's going on inside of you. I've been lying to myself. I lied to myself, every time I tell myself I'm not good enough. I lie to myself, every time I believe my voice doesn't matter. I lie to myself every time I look at my current circumstances, and mistake them for my soul's truth.

The deception lays inside of myself when I don't recognize my true worth. Working with the energy of trust is changing me. healing myself trust wound is helping me see that my deepest illusion is judging my success and value based on the circumstantial evidence in my life right now.

 Every time I send myself the message that I can't trust myself to know myself, and since my path, and that I can't trust my relationship with spirit and the visions I've been given for my life, I am really telling myself that I can't trust my soul's unfolding process.

And this goes against everything I teach, and claim to be.

[58:40] Trust, Self-Deception & Personal Growth

This essay goes on for a little bit longer. But I think what I read sums up so beautifully. What I'd like to leave everybody with today. Ultimately, the path to discernment is through establishing a relationship with self trust.

And as we grow in wisdom and grow in our ability to see through the illusions in the world, the illusions and some of the agenda surrounds us the illusions and relationships in our life, the illusion of energetic, static and Bs and those things.

As we continue to grow in that it's going to happen, we can't help but grow in wisdom as we grow on the path. But the most important space that we can keep working with it's just with discernment is within ourselves. It is learning not to buy into the illusion that we can't trust yourself that we are, have made a mistake and somehow screwed up our life.

It's to not buy into this lie, that we are separated from love, that we are not spiritual enough that we don't matter. It's to not buy into those forms of self deception that make us doubt who they are.

And it is instead to learn to work with the truth of self forgiveness. self trust, of knowing that we will grow as we grow and all will reveal itself at the right time, believing and knowing that it is our right to make mistakes on the path, it is our right to not be able to discern everything. It's part of why we're here so that we can grow in discernment. It's the right to trust that we don't know what we don't know.

And we will know it at the right time. And in the meantime, we have the privilege to grow and to make mistakes and to get it right and to get it wrong again, and then to get it right again, and to figure it out and to be gloriously messy, and beautifully human and wrap all of that. And this gorgeous, soulful bow of love and compassion and grace. That is where we will find our truth.

And so no matter what else, we can always work with clearing the lens and the gaze in which we relate to ourselves. So we can see ourselves through the clearest gaze possible, and see the truth and power of our own beautiful, bright, light and magnificence.

[1:01:11] Coming Up Next Week

All right, coming up next week on your heart magic, we are continuing our archetypes of the Tarot series. And we are making our way to card six and the Major Arcana, the lovers, which is a card about not only love, it's really a card about choices. 

So we will be exploring what does the lovers mean? How can we understand this in our modern day age and our relationships with relationship with ourselves? How can we utilize this archetype in order to inspire the lessons in the intelligence of the lovers archetype to support our own journeys, so I'm excited about that and whatever wisdom wants to come through. 

Thank you so much for joining me today. And have an amazing week. Be well be love. Be you and me magic